Produced by artisans who work exclusively in the medium of Gummy

If I were the kind of person who bought Christmas gifts for my friends (and I’m not), I would seriously consider the Giant Gummy Bear on a Stick for one particular friend who enjoys his gummy products.

According to the Vat19 website:

Candy lovers rejoice! The Giant Gummy Bear on a Stick represents the most delicious candy confection that man has ever produced. Hand made (with gloves on) in the US, the Giant Gummy Bear is 88 times larger than a standard gummy bear. Each Giant Gummy Bear weighs half a pound and comes on a stick for easy, mess-free snacking.

That’s a whole lotta gummy. But there’s more… After skimming through all the videos and nutritional information about the Giant Gummy Bear on a Stick, I found The World’s Largest Gummy Bear.

The World’s Largest Gummy Bear is the lion of the candy world. There is no candy more magnificent or more powerful. This five-pound beast is the equivalent of 1,400 regular sized gummy bears and packs a whopping 12,600 calories.

Its monstrous size is only matched by its enormous taste. The World’s Largest Gummy Bear tastes just as delicious as its pint-sized counterpart.

Ugh. A five pound gummy bear.

In any case, let’s just assume that I would buy my friend this gift if I were the kind of person to do that kind of thing. After all, isn’t it the thought that counts?

Merry Christmas, buddy.