What if it had been Disney that had scooped up the Harry Potter property in its infancy? What would have become of these dark “kids” movies (the latest of which I have not yet seen)?
Perhaps something like this?
Perhaps not.
(Found posted by a friend on Facebook. It’s like I don’t even try anymore…)
by Amy Breen
I came across a site (thanks, Metafilter) run by twenty-something Avery Edison from England.
It is a medium for her comedic writings, which are part social commentary, part random humorous scenarios, and part religious spoof. A recurring project I enjoyed is a dialogue between Jesus and Judas.
Basically, Jesus is a total dick, and Judas is the voice of reason. I have a feeling this will explain some sort of betrayal …
Here’s a typical exchange:
Judas: Hey, Jesus — I have a question about the Pharisees.
Jesus: Your mother is a prostitute.
Judas: You… you haven’t even heard my question.
Jesus: You just can’t deal with the fact that I tell it like it is.
Judas: No, Encyclopedia Britanica “tells it like it is”. You’re just a douchbag.
Jesus: Oh, hey — my phone’s ringing. I wonder who it is.
Judas: You don’t have a phone.
Jesus: Oh! It’s my dad — God!
Judas: AT&T cancelled your contract…
Jesus: What’s that, God? Judas should cut it out?
Judas: …because you kept trying to pay them in “Jesus dollars”…
Jesus: I agree, Dad, Judas *is* a dick.
Judas: …and because you told that customer representative that you’d send her to hell…
Jesus: You saw Judas’s mom doing *what*, Heavenly Father?
Judas: …and then you asked her out and she said no and you called her a lesbian…
Jesus: So I guess I was, right, huh? Judas’s mom _is_ a prostitute?
Judas: …and then you started crying and she had to call her supervisor and you kept trying to convince them you didn’t understand that the “unlimited” plan only meant 2,000 texts a month. And then they hung up and you were so mad you cursed that fig tree…
Jesus: Thanks, God. Talk to you later.
Judas: …
Jesus: That was God on the pho-
Judas: Yesiheardthankyou.
Funny stuff! Check it out at AveryEdison.com
