Your pants are lying to you

Darn it all, I kind of figured this out all on my own, but to see the actual measurements is really depressing. Especially for someone who does actually buy jeans from Old Navy.

Esquire investigates — and tells me that the waistline is a lie. The chart:

But that’s not all — it’s not just a vanity thing. Style blogger Abram Sauer says:

Down-waisting is genuine cause for concern. A recent report published in the Archives of Internal Medicine found that men with larger waists were twice at risk of death compared with their smaller-waist peers. Men whose waists measured 47 inches or larger were twice as likely to die. Yet, most men only know their waist size by their pants — so if those pants are up to five inches smaller than the reality, some men may be wrongly dismissing health dangers.

He also points out that these are, at least putatively, measurements:

This isn’t the subjective business of mediums, larges and extra-larges — nor is it the murky business of women’s sizes, what with its black-hole size zero. This is science, damnit. Numbers! Should inches be different than miles per hour? Do highway signs make us feel better by informing us that Chicago is but 45 miles away when it’s really 72?

Exactly!

How political is your clothing

It’s old news, I guess, that companies contribute to political campaigns, but I guess I never really thought about how I, as a consumer, could be helping out political causes that I don’t agree with.

I sort of thought that most large companies would hedge their bets by contributing equally (or equitably) to both sides of the political spectrum, but that’s not always the case. And, I’ve just come across a site that breaks down the contributions by clothing manufacturer. Check out this page on OpenSecrets.org:

In the 2008 election cycle, employees of Michael Kors donated 93 percent of campaign contributions to Democrats while employees of Liz Claiborne donated 98 percent to Democrats. Meanwhile, employees of Columbia Sportswear donated almost 90 percent of campaign contributions to Republicans.

Although the clothing industry is pretty evenly divided overall, individual companies in the clothing manufacturing business tend to be notably partisan in their federal political donations, more so than almost any other industry.

Some other highlights were that Guess?, Calvin Klein and American Apparel were 100% supportive of the Democrats, while Levi, Perry Ellis and Fruit of the Loom were heavily Republican.

Down with denim — the jeans backlash

levi-strauss1

Let me be clear, right from the start — I like jeans. I wear denim pants almost every day: at home, at work, camping, lounging, out … they are a fabulously versatile clothing choice, and I have many pair that I can match with different tops to create a multitude of looks. Of course, I mostly stick with middle-of-the-road looks, but I know that a dark pair of jeans, a shirt and a blazer is a much different look than jeans and a T-shirt. Jeans are comfortable, yet able to stand up to a lot. I know that, if I wear jeans, I can end up tearing down street signs or something weird late at night, and not be overdressed.

Jeans are my go-to.

Sometimes, though, I feel underdressed. As the recession pendulum swings, I’m sure it will have sartorial consequences. Just like there was a backlash against khakis and polos after the dot-com boom, I think there will be a trend towards dressing up for a few years, as more and more people look towards suits and ties to differentiate themselves from the hordes of other job-seekers.

It starts, by the way, with two recent columns bemoaning the denim trend. Let’s see what the Wall Street Journal says:

Denim, for instance, is an essential co-conspirator in the modern trend toward undifferentiated dressing, in which we all strive to look equally shabby no matter what the occasion. Despite its air of innocence, no fabric has ever been so insidiously effective at undermining national discipline …. Denim is the SUV of fabrics, the wardrobe equivalent of driving a hulking Land Rover to the Whole Foods Market. Our fussily tailored blue jeans, prewashed and acid-treated to look not just old but even dirty, are really a sad disguise. They’re like Mao jackets, an unusually dreary form of sartorial conformity by means of which we reassure one another of our purity and good intentions.

Yikes! Riffing on that, though, George F. Will in the Washington Post takes it even further:

Denim is the infantile uniform of a nation in which entertainment frequently features childlike adults (“Seinfeld,” “Two and a Half Men”) and cartoons for adults (“King of the Hill”). Seventy-five percent of American “gamers” — people who play video games — are older than 18 and nevertheless are allowed to vote. In their undifferentiated dress, children and their childish parents become undifferentiated audiences for juvenilized movies (the six — so far — “Batman” adventures and “Indiana Jones and the Credit-Default Swaps,” coming soon to a cineplex near you). Denim is the clerical vestment for the priesthood of all believers in democracy’s catechism of leveling — thou shalt not dress better than society’s most slovenly. To do so would be to commit the sin of lookism — of believing that appearance matters. That heresy leads to denying the universal appropriateness of everything, and then to the elitist assertion that there is good and bad taste.

And me? Well, I like to wear a nice-fitting pair of pants every now and then. But I can’t deny the basic utility of a pair of jeans. They serve me well in my day-to-day life — when I never know when I might end up picking up lumber at Home Depot or popping into my basement to jack up a beam, or picking a few weeds in the yard. I don’t want to change my clothes five times a day.

Dressing up in nice suits is great for people who do one job, then come home and have supper on the table. But this ain’t the 50s. I multi-task. I need pants that can stand up to my changing duties.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need quickly wash my car and go to work.

This T-shirt totally creeped me out

IMAGE_112

So, Amy was trying on a few clothes at Giant Tiger (note to my international readers — it’s like a low-rent Wal-Mart) and I was just waiting around, like boyfriends do, you know?

And then I noticed this shirt. And once I noticed it, I couldn’t un-notice it. It was gigantic and green. It was staring at me. I couldn’t look away. I tried to steal its evil soul with my camera-phone, but that didn’t work. I tried to hang another shirt over it, but every shirt on the rack had the same design on it!

Look, I know that it’s supposed to be a cute baby puppy cuddling with a cute baby kitten. But you weren’t there! You didn’t see — up close and personal — just how terrified that kitten looks, as it meekly raises one paw to fend off the snarling dog.

And the dog! The dog’s wearing a … a … a bib!