(source unknown, friend of a friend on Facebook)
Feb 142011
They are cookies inspired by those ubiquitous chalky candy hearts — but with a twist. I think they’re hilarious.
They’re by a Winnipeg bakery, Cakeology, and they’re $13 a dozen. They describe them as the perfect Valentine’s gift, so long as the recipient has “a smidge of a sense of humour about them.”
Worried that they’re not lovey-dovey enough? Don’t worry, Cakeology also has plenty of other romantic baking options.
(Shel Zolkewich, via @tourismdauphin)
Print and clip for a classic, retro touch to your Valentine’s gift-giving. What cold heart wouldn’t melt!
(via Buzzfeed, but spotted as a Facebook link)
Feb 142010
It’s Valentine’s Day, which means that you can buy heart-shaped everything — from boxes of chocolates, to pendants, candies of all types, to pizza. Yes, pizza.
But let’s take a moment to think about the not-really-heart-shaped organ that inspired all this, the human heart.
With every tick of the second hand, your heart probably beats at least once. That’s thousands of times an hour, every hour, including while you sleep, without you ever thinking about it. The muscle cells in your heart are perfectly evolved to be resistent to fatigue — just think if you could “rest-up” your biceps while doing curls for a while, just slower.
That marvelous little muscle pump — about the size of your fist, they say — generates enough power to send your five litres of blood coursing happily through arteries and capillaries, bringing oxygen to hungry cells everywhere. Thanks, heart!
Here’s what Leonardo da Vinci thought of the human heart:
That’s a heckuva lot better than the <3 I can draw.
Feb 142010
Last year, in honour of Valentine’s Day, I posted a mix CD of lovely love music that I’d selected for Amy. Unknown to me, she’d also compiled and posted a list of love songs.
Well, why not make it a tradition?
This year, while I didn’t go whole hog and compile a full CD, I did find a number of brand-new-to-me songs that put me in the mood for Valentine’s Day. Hope you like them as much as I do.
1. Little Red – It’s Alright
Calling themselves “doo-wop punk,” this five-piece out of Australia has amazing harmonies. And well they should — they’ve got three lead singers. I really loved the retro, lo-fi sound, but the lyrics were so sweet and sincere, too.
2. Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros – Home
The boy/girl, call-and-response form to this song makes it perfect for inclusion on a Valentine’s Day mix, as does the sheer, unabashed joy of its in-love lyrics. The horns are great, too. Now I just have to forget that it was ever on Gossip Girl.
Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros – Home
3. Girls – Lust For Life
At first, I hoped/feared that this was an Iggy Pop cover, but it’s another boy/girl duo doing a call-and-response thing. It’s not quite as gleeful and innocent as the last two songs — more dreaming and longing — but its clear that whatever happens or has happened, these two want to be together. And they’re willing to try damn hard to make it work.
4. Breakbot – Baby I’m yours feat. Irfane
What would you call this, funk-tronica? I don’t care — I’m hooked. Sure, I think the lyrics are about a girl who has left, and he’ll do anything to win her back, which is a tad on the unrequited side for Valentine’s Day, but this has serious danceability, and that makes up for a lot. Plus, baby, your wish is my command? Hot.
Breakbot – Baby I’m yours feat. Irfane
5. Emm Gryner – Pour Some Sugar On Me
Ah hell, I’m a sucker for the slowed-down cover at the best of times. Def Leppard? Done by a girl at a piano? Sign me up. You know, once you get past the hair and the tights, those ’80s bands had some pretty sensual songs. If Breakbot was hot, this is sticky sweet.
Emm Gryner – Pour Some Sugar On Me
Happy Valentine’s Day!
(The painting at the top of this post is “Psyche et L’Amour” by William-Adolphe Bouguereau.)
Ladies love the colour pink, or advertising has led me astray. And ladies love makeup, or advertising has led me astray twice — and I can’t believe that.
So ladies must love pink makeup, right?
Well, try this on for size — pink makeup for your lady-parts. Down there.
That’s right, feast your eyes on My New Pink Button, “a simple to use genital cosmetic colorant that restores the ‘pink’ back to a woman’s genitals.”
At $30 a tub (enough for 20 applications) My New Pink Button is more than a makeup — it’s actually a dye for your labia. The official product description purports to reveal that many women feel that their skin is the wrong colour:
My New Pink Button ™ is a temporary dye to restore the youthful pink color back to your labia. There is no other product like it. This patent pending formula was designed by a female certified Paramedical Esthetician after she discovered her own genital color loss. While looking online for a solution she discovered thousands of other women asking the same questions regarding their color loss. After countless searches revealing no solution available and a discussion with her own gynecologist she decided to create her own. Now there is a solution!
Now, as a male, I’m obviously not qualified to state whether or not any individual woman is happy with her own vajayjay. But, speaking strictly in my male capacity, I don’t think dye is the solution. In fact, for me, it would be a problem.
Hair? Sure. Nails? Of course. Labia? NO.
Feb 092010
Just look at it:
Yes, that’s a beer coaster. And yes, it’s an advertisement.
Okay, I’m used to beer coasters that are ads for, you know, beer. Or pubs or something. Or even public service announcements telling me to call a cab or to wear a condom.
But this, I’m guessing as part of a run-up to Valentine’s Day, is an ad for a local jeweler. And this beer coaster incorporates a ring sizing chart.
Now, not to be churlish, I actually have no idea what my ring size is, and it’s kind of cool to know. I might appreciate some kind of placemat that also doubled as a hat-size indicator. But this ring sizer isn’t aimed at me. In case you can’t read it, let me tell you what it says:
Deluxe Combination
Ring Sizer / Coaster
Let him know your
ring size, and leave
the rest to us.
That’s right, ladies, if you want to wear a band of domesticity, your future mate is likely too thick-skulled to realize it on his own. Hint, hint and hint until he finally caves and buys you the symbol of him love.
I’m just surprised that it doesn’t have a diamond quality chart on the reverse, along with an inflated “How else can 72 months’ salary last forever?” slogan.
Diamond encrusted chocolate.
And not really chocolate, either, but a line of Hershey’s Kisses necklaces and bracelets.
Grant noticed an ad for the necklaces in the paper, and I just couldn’t believe it. I literally asked him, “is that for real?”
Oh, it is.
That’s an example of the diamond-encrusted one, which runs somewhere in the neighbourhood of $3,000. I mean, look at that thing! It looks to be the size of an actual Hershey’s kiss. That’s pretty big for a necklace. And I know women are supposed to love chocolate and everything, but enough to have a Hershey’s kiss around their necks?
I guess for some women, this would be the perfect gift; the combination of chocolate and diamonds is practically irresistible.
But I just find it kind of ridiculous.
If Greedo and Han can make up and share ice cream this Valentine’s Day, can’t you call up your ex-best friend, or your estranged brother or something and make nice?
Tons of other great Star Wars Jr. themed Valentines by artist James Stowe featuring all your favourite good guys and baddied, holding hands and smiling.
(via Gizmodo)
Maybe I’m old fashioned. Maybe I’m a little uptight. Maybe my views on romance tend a little toward the traditional side.
Whatever the case, I personally don’t find sex in a restaurant bathroom all that romantic. Even if the restaurant endorses/encourages it, it’s not the way I’d want to spend my Valentine’s Day.
Any other day of the year…well, that’s a different story.
Feb 162009
Photo from Marie Claire
With all the hullabaloo surrounding Valentine’s Day (getting the perfect gift, making reservations, planning a surprise, etc, etc) Chuck Cohen proposes a new holiday: Guy Day.
His argument is based on his opinion that every holiday is female-focused, and that guys deserve a day, too.
Right now a lot of guys are scurrying around trying to find the “right” flowers or the “right” card for Valentine’s Day. Men, however, don’t just face these tasks on Feb. 14. The truth is — hold on, Gloria Steinem — there are more guy-giving than guy-receiving days in the year.
Cohen argues that Mother’s Day is basically the same, with men rushing to find a great gift and restaurant, and that even guy focused “holidays” like the Superbowl have been taken over by women.
Guys used to watch the game with a couple friends who knew when not to make noise. Now the game is essentially a national holiday, an excuse for entire neighborhoods, including present and even former spouses, to unite over dips, wings, and too many decibels. Without a headset tuned to the radio broadcast, you have no idea who won.
He also complains that women drag their unlucky boyfriends/husbands to crappy chick flicks like “Sex and the City” or “Mamma Mia,” and that — heaven forbid! — women also get wedding showers! What about all the men, he argues, who could use a new “bowling ball or drill press?”
What Cohen fails to recognize is that Valentine’s Day is not an occasion to buy your girlfriend flowers/chocolates/flowers and dote on them (although Hallmark would have you think otherwise, as would some women). No, Valentine’s Day is a day to celebrate love, and if a woman is worth her salt, she will equally dote on and give gifts to the man in her life.
Yes, he recognizes Father’s Day, but he says that the gifts are an afterthought; restaurant reservations are not completely unavailable like on Mother’s Day.
From the tone of his writing, it sounds like Cohen has been unable to have a mature relationship with a woman, and wishes more for silence and cliches like steak and power tools than a real relationship.
Like I said, if a woman is worth her salt, on holidays like Valentine’s or Father’s Day (or just any day!) she would put as much thought and care into a gift as a man would.
(thanks Jezebel!)
Feb 142009
love, love, love
Generally, I dislike Valentine’s Day. I think it is an icky, mass-marketed “holiday” which only serves to make couples feel superior because of their “awesome” love and to make single people feel bitter. It’s never made much sense to me that people would pick one day to do something special for their significant other, instead of showing it all year-round.
Besides, I don’t really like chocolate and haven’t cared about a stuffed animal since I was seven.
However, (contradiction alert!) I think that if you don’t fall into the trap of cliche, it can be a nice day to celebrate with your loved one.
Maybe the best thing to do is not put so much importance onto it, whether you’re attached or single. It’s just another day.
Now that all of that’s out of the way, I thought it would be nice on this day of love, to share with you some of my favourite love songs. They’re my favourite mostly because the lyrics make me smile and think of the guy in my life.
Ane Brun feat. Ron Sexsmith – Song no. 6
I love how they say it would be so easy to sing a love song (a sobby pink song at that!), but don’t get into any of the specifics. It’s enough to sing “I’d spend three or four lines on describing your eyes.”
Bright Eyes – First Day of My Life
“Yours is the first face that I saw. I think I was blind before I met you.” That is all.
Death Cab for Cutie – I Will Follow You into the Dark
Although this song is essentially saying “I would die without you,” there is something achingly sweet about wanting to be with someone, no matter what. Sure, it’s a little morbid, but Ben Gibbard’s lovely and plaintive voice enables you to move past that see it for the beautiful love song it is.
A classic. I recently saw Elton John perform in Winnipeg, and this song almost had me in tears. It’s just so lovely.
Queens of the Stone Age – Make it Wit Chu
Okay, it’s not really a love song, but it’s the sexiest damn thing I’ve heard in a long time, with Josh Homme’s slow, slurred way of singing (that implies a bedroom and what just happened in one … ) and the guitar solo that just oozes sex.
Yeah. Hot
…
I could probably go on and on with a list like this (or a list based on Beatles love songs alone) but I thought this was a nice mix. Happy Valentine’s Day!