There’s something special about the poised-yet-awkward nature of stock photography, in which the ne plus ultra is also the most generic.
Everything about a stock photo strives to be ordinary. So, when you couple that with very out-of-the-ordinary situations, what you get is pure comedy. Hence, this gallery: The Best of Sexual Harassment Stock Photography.
(@bortflancrest, via @stumpymccripple)
I don’t have a moustache, and I don’t need a sex-gimmick anyway, but this strikes me as a particularly insidious way for people who are finding out, halfway through Movember, that they look absolutely ridiculous with lip fur, to try and turn the tables on the opposite sex.
What I really want to know is, when’s Have Sex With a Girl With a Moustache Day? Because why be sexist?
Also, you know what all this anti-cancer hullabaloo makes me think? It makes me think that people born between June 21 and July 22 get a bum rap in the astrology department.
Capital. We’ve all got it to some degree in all its forms.
Our economic capital is, briefly, the money, property and human resources (or our ability to work) we have available to us in order to accumulate and produce more wealth. There are complex mathematical instruments to do this, but my personal economic capital is so low such an exercise would only bum me out.
Cultural capital is the non-financial assets we possess – our education or intellect, for example – that provide us with the opportunity to advance socially. Basically, it is what we have to make us look good when we’re broke.
Finally, social capital is a fuzzy concept that basically boils down to our social contacts. Who do you know? That’s an asset.
Those are the big three capitals. It’s what you’ve got to work with and make your life into something — use your money, your education and your networks and you can become a success. Sure we have them in differing amounts, but don’t think that a whole whack of money can’t overcome an educational deficiency.
That was the common belief. Recently, however, there has been talk about a fourth capital — your erotic capital.
Recently, Catherine Hakim, a sociologist at the London School of Economics, has caused a controversy with her claims that one’s erotic capital might be more important to one’s career than something so minor as say, an education.
All in all, good-looking people can earn 10-15 per cent more than the average-looking, who in turn can earn 10-15 per cent more than the plain.
At first blush, it seems to make sense. Those that seems to rake in the millions tend to be good looking, right? But not always. There are some people that just aren’t that attractive. At least, not physically.
According to Wikipedia, which has been updated with Hakim’s research, erotic capital is derived from six (or seven) elements:
1) beauty; 2) sexual attractiveness; 3) social attractiveness; 4) vivaciousness; 5) presentation; 6) sexuality; 7) fertility
Unfortunately, the Wikipedia entry doesn’t define each of these elements. (Not that I need “fertility” explained to me, but I would like to know the difference between say “beauty” and “presentation” or “sexuality” and “sexual attractiveness”.)
Hakim’s research was presented in an issue of European Sociological Review — not the kind of magazine you’re likely to find in your dentist’s office or on the rack at the drug store. Luckily for you, I am associated with an educational institution that allows me access to such light reading material (I found it wedged between “European Social Policy” and “European Spine Journal”).
Like most, if not all, scientific journal articles, “Erotic Capital” takes what could be a titillating subject and makes it…well, boring. So instead of summarizing a dry academic paper, I instead offer a more readable article by Prospect magazine.
In short, I ask: what’s your erotic capital stock?
Introducing “Bedometer” — the iPhone app that tells you how many calories you’ve burned while having sex. Simply lay it on the bed beside you, start it up, then, when you and your partner start things up, the iPhone will measure the bed’s jiggles, and tell you precisely how, um, frisky you’ve been. It’s also iPad compatible.
Hey, it’s also for singles!
At 99 cents, it’s harmless and kind of cute, even. But as MomLogic puts it, “Shouldn’t having sex be one of the times we can stop fretting about the baby weight?”
(Via Daily Dose of Common Sense, who echoes the feeling: “if you’re worried about how many calories you’re burning during sex then you’re worrying too much.”)
In this video, taken at a TED talk, author Mary Roach discusses ten things you may not know about the orgasm.
The video is pretty long, running at almost 17 minutes, but it was entertaining, interesting, and often hilarious. I suggest at least sticking around until the 12 minute mark, where Roach talks about how an orgasm in a female pig increases fertility. I promise, hilarity ensues.
Every day on the winter solstice (that’s today), it’s International Orgasm Day. According to the official website, globalorgasm.org, the purpose is for as many people as possible to dedicate an orgasm to the cause of peace — as close as possible to the official solstice time of 17:47 GMT on Monday, Dec. 21, 2009 (but really, anytime within a 24 hour period will do).
Why?
To effect positive change in the energy field of the earth through conscious dedication of orgasmic energy to the vibration of Peace. Our minds and our biology influence Matter and Quantum Energy fields, so by concentrating our thoughts before, during, and after orgasm on peace and loving-kindness, the synergy of high orgasmic physical energy combined with the power of positive visualization could help reduce global levels of violence, hatred and fear. Orgasm is the largest possible instantaneous surge of human biological and spiritual energies. It is a biological gift! What better way to achieve your resolution for Peace?
Well, I’m convinced!
I’m really not sure how to go about writing this post without being somehow offensive, so I’ll say only this:
The more intense your devotion, the more difficult it is to tell apart from intentional parody.
Take, for example, the website SexInChrist.com:
Are you saving yourself for your wedding night? The Devil wants you to fail, that’s why he puts stumbling blocks in your way. But God wants you to succeed, and that’s why he has given us an alternative to intercourse before marriage: anal sex. Through anal sex, you can satisfy your body’s needs, while you avoid the risk of unwanted pregnancy and still keep yourself pure for marriage.
“I thought the Bible said anal sex was a sin.”
This is a common misconception. Anal sex is confusing to many Christians because of the attention paid to the Bible’s condemnation of homosexual acts. However, it’s important to realize that these often quoted scriptures refer only to sexual acts between two men. Nowhere does the Bible forbid anal sex between a male and female.
This is a parody site, as becomes (slightly) clearer when you go through the other sections, like “Masturbation, God’s Great Gift To Us” and “Threesomes Within a Christian Marriage” and “Fisting and God’s Will.”
But there’s a very similar site, called ChristianNymphos.org, that I’m pretty sure is not a parody at all. They address many of the same concerns, like masturbation and anal sex. But they are absolutely sincere in trying to do so as much as possible within the confines of the Bible.
I’ll leave the discussion to the comments, but I’m so fascinated by the correlation between the parody and the sincere.
Also, I kind of wanted an excuse to post this video:
Personally, I wonder which came first: the chastity vow or the book deal? Still, writer Hephzibah Anderson went 12 months without sex, and wrote all about it. You can get the condensed version in The Guardian:
It’s only when you’ve sworn off sex you begin to notice that it is everywhere. It’s in the swing of a waiter’s hips, the tilt of a head, the gaze you know you shouldn’t hold. I make a date, feeling as if I need to test my vow in order to prove its existence. But the man sitting across from me isn’t Jake and, because of that, I’m not interested. At the end of the night I call a taxi, dropping my date at the nearest tube station with a peck on the cheek. Chastity will be easy, I think, and my heart sinks a little.