Aug 272010
 

I cannot believe it has taken so long for such a cult product to become an actual, real-life product. But the Ghostbusters villain — the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man — finally arrives in bite-sized form.

Of course, I don’t like marshmallows (not since, as a kid, I foolishly ate a whole bag) but I would still buy these. Look at that awesome box design! Look at the that killer square marshmallow! Look at the ingredients, which include more than 100mg of caffeine per mashmallow!

Thank-you, Think Geek. Thank-you. They’re $20 a box.

Aug 202010
 

Worried about aliens crossing the border from Mexico into the U.S.? You should be! Check out a trailer for Monsters, a low-budget British movie that posits a quarantine zone in Central America after a space probe crash-lands, and weird lifeforms begin to take over:

I really love that the sci-fi alien invasion flick is staging a comeback. There’s also Battle: Los Angeles and Skyline that look amazing (though similar).

There’s a bit of a synopsis at io9, where I saw the trailer.

Aug 022010
 

By way of explanation, a few points before the video:

1.  I recently watched all the Back to the Future movies.  They are not without their problems, but I love them.

2.  It’s not Friday and this video isn’t really a short film, but I’ve been terrible about posting anything this summer.  Thus, I’m going to call this video a “make-up” for the lack of short film Friday postings.  It’s that good.

3.  Why does everything seem like so much more work in the summer — even fun tasks like posting here on Absurd Intellectual?

I now present “Why ‘Back to the Future’ is Secretly Horrifying” by Cracked.com:

Jul 282010
 

If I was to really write about what my headline implies, this could be a very long and detailed list.  The history of film-making, the past several years in particular, is littered with ill-advised sequels.  Movies that were mediocre (at best) have somehow managed to wrangle sequels.

Take Piranha II: The Spawning, for example.  Was Piranha such a blockbusting success that a sequel was called for?  Probably not.

No, Piranha II was not James Cameron’s most shining moment.  Yes, THAT James Cameron.  He was the director.  You might remember him from a slightly more commercially successful film: Titanic — a movie that is not likely to ever get a sequel, right?

I am afraid you are wrong.

The A.V. Club reports that “Titanic II is real and there’s a trailer.”

Strangely, I have an urge to see this film.

Jul 272010
 

I could blog about Inception all day — I think it’s a great movie, really I do, although it has a couple of fundamental flaws*.

This, though, blew my mind:

As the Onion Av Club points out:

The further the heroes dive into a person’s subconscious–into a dream within a dream within a dream, and so on–the more slowed-down time becomes. So if composer Hans Zimmer is playing us a super-slowed-down version of “Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien,” then the implication is that we’re still submerged deep within the dream, far from the kick that will wake us up.

Whoa.

________

* The biggest problem is the flagrant breaking of Chekhov’s rule about guns in the first act having to go off by the third act. We get a huge, amazing set piece with Ariadne showing how architects can bend the dream cityscape to their will, but they never ever really use that ability — which could have come in handy during the whole third act.

Jun 212010
 

Have you ever wondered how many people died in a movie that you just watched?

Well, Bodycounters has got you covered. They count bodies, so you don’t have to. Here’s a selection from the Ks of their extensive A-to-Z list:

  • Kill Bill: Volume One – 67
  • Kill Bill: Volume Two – 4
  • Killer Drag Queens on Dope – 12
  • Killer Klowns from Outer Space – 51 people, 4 klowns and 2 dogs
  • The Killing Room – 3
  • King Kong – 26 with Ape. Also 3 dinosaurs, 4 T-Rexes, 35 various giant insects and 3 giant bats.
  • Kingdom of Heaven – 1,578 and 16 horses

A useful (?) resource.

Jun 072010
 

A quarter-century ago today, The Goonies was released. It’s become a touchstone to my generation (as if you didn’t know). Thankfully, there’s no remake or sequel yet, so it’s still pure and untouched in my memory — unlike, say, the Karate Kid.

The 25th anniversary is big enough that Astoria, Ore., where the movie was filmed, is hosting a celebration. And the Washington Post is covering it:

“The Goonies” are . . . how to explain them if you were not born in the ’70s or ’8os, the sweet spot of obsession? They were a club of seven misfits, including a fat kid (Chunk — forced to perform the indignity of the Truffle Shuffle on command), a loudmouth and a gadget whiz. They all went on a treasure hunt below the earth to find a missing pirate ship and to escape the Fratelli brothers — cons who kept their mutant sibling, Sloth, locked in the basement, when all he wanted was a Baby Ruth.

A few years ago, when Willkie realized that people were coming from as far away as Japan to see the sites of the movie, she planned a 25th anniversary celebration. During this four-day extravaganza, the town’s usual population of 10,000 has swelled to she doesn’t even know how high.

All of the hotel rooms are full. All of the bus tours are sold out. The autograph lines for the cast meet ‘n’ greets are five hours long. Hundreds of fans trip blissfully from costume contests to quiz nights. It’s like a stoner-free “Big Lebowski” fest. They greet each other on the street with “Hey, you Guu-uuuys!” — the official greeting of the Goonies.

Anyone who understands the meaning of the Goonies — friendship, adventure, awesomeness — is, by definition, also a Goonie.

Yeah — and the Truffle Shuffle!

Amy, if you’re reading this, we’re watching The Goonies tonight. Yes. Yes we are.

May 232010
 

Because ‘The Empire Strikes Back’ just turned 30 (I have extremely fuzzy memories of seeing it in the drive-in … I think), and because it has been universally agreed to be the best of the two trilogies, there have been a ton of retrospectives written about its impact in the past few days.

See, for example, here, here and especially here.

But I think I prefer this, uncovered by the LA Times. It’s Mark Hamill and Harrison Ford, on the Today Show in 1980. Now that’s the flavour of the time:

Apr 162010
 

Dedicated readers may know that I’m fascinated by marketing.  In particular, I’m interested in the way certain aspects of marketing enter popular culture — how we assimilate fictional entities (such as Ronald McDonald) into our common experience.  Fascinating.

The creators of the 2010 Oscar winner for Best Animated Short Film took this idea to the extreme.  What if an instance of popular culture — a big budget movie — was completely marketing entities and logos.

Filled with car chases, a hostage crisis, a romance (of sorts) and rampaging animals, Logorama is worthy of the multitude of awards it has won.  (NOTE: Some aspects may be NSFW, depending on where you work.)

Logorama from Marc Altshuler – Human Music on Vimeo.

Apr 092010
 

Remember that car ad (maybe it was a truck ad) where they showed the “life cycle” of a gas station? It ran from the vintage sepia-toned early days, though the 1950s, to a hyper-modern one today, with changing styles and renovations all the way through, as vehicles from the various eras pulled up and fueled up?

Then, the kicker at the end was they they tore it down, and replaced the meadow that was there, because future-cars run on lawn fumes or something.

Yeah, well, I hope you’re not surprised if I tell you that they don’t actually do that.

When gas stations close, they just leave ‘em there, to decay. (That’s called a brownfield, in case you’re interested.)

Here’s a gallery of 26 such abandoned gas stations — and Eric Tabuchi has actually found an additional 26, so if you wanted a whole deck of cards, you could kind of go for it.

There’s one of these right by my office, and another one a little further down the street. They’re pretty depressing, I gotta be honest, because you know that no one’s ever going to turn them into a cool restaurant or art gallery or anything. I’ll bet they’ll smell like gasoline forever.

But every time I pass them, a part of my brain remembers being in a Movies & More, gazing with pre-adolescent boy longing at the VHS cover of The Last Chase, which I totally was not allowed to rent, and I knew better than to even ask.

Apr 082010
 

Because my parents eschewed cable television while I was a grower, and because HBO wasn’t available in Canada, anyway, I don’t think I’d ever seen this opening sequence from the 1980s until now:

It was entirely done without the use of computers. I’m trying very hard to learn Final Cut right now, and I am amazed at what it can do, but no matter how difficult Final Cut is to master, I can only imagine how hard it would be to do the same thing with ultra-detailed models and camera work.

The people at HBO saw it as such an achievement, actually, that they produced a little behind-the-scenes film about the making-of:

Crazy cool!

(Via Logo Factory, which calls it “retro logo porn”)

Apr 042010
 

I happened across some retro videos at the Internet Archive today, which totally gave me a nostalgia trip. Growing up, my neighbour was the manager of the Lucky Star Drive-In (now, sadly, the site of a truck stop-n-wash) and my parents used to take us kids there all the time.

I count myself lucky that I was able to experience (many, many times) the pleasure of a drive-in, before they were all shut down. And, if you live kind of near one, I urge you to seek it out, and support that theatre.

This brought it all back: