evil » Absurd Intellectual

It’s not a game, it’s a mind game

Posted by Grant Hamilton on 22 April 2010 Vintage/Retro

Apr 222010

Like Tetris? Sure you do. But you also hate it. Admit it: there’s a part of you that thinks the game is deliberately sabotaging you.

Well, wonder no longer — someone has programmed a game of Tetris to do exactly that.

Hateris is exactly like Tetris except in two important ways:

It calculates the worst possible block to send to you each and every move; and
It doesn’t drop automatically, giving you all the time in the world to think about each move.

I couldn’t get past three lines before the screen filled up. And even that was a fist-clenching victory.

Play it here — if you dare. And get ready to hate those S-shaped ones.

A brief history of evil

Posted by Grant Hamilton on 22 January 2010 Modern Life

Jan 222010

This is a fun five-minute animation that gives a brief overview on evil in Western culture. It’s incomplete, and it’s problematic in a few places, but it’s a student animation project, so I’m willing to give it a fair bit of leeway.

Moreover, the poor animator has apparently gotten slammed in the YouTube comments (more recent one are more positive, or spammy), having to edit the video’s info box to clarify patiently that, no, the video doesn’t claim that Elvis actually was evil, just that people at the time thought rock’n'roll was evil.

(Thanks, Ben!)

So you want to be a supervillain

Posted by Grant Hamilton on 24 May 2009 Modern Life

May 242009

You know, taking on the James Bonds and Inspector Gadgets of the world isn’t easy. No matter how many henchmen you employ, there’s something about the job description that turns them all into ninnies.

So here’s a handy list: How To Be A Successful Evil Overlord.

There’s 100 of them:

* I will never employ any device with a digital count-down. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable. I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.
* I will never utter the sentence “But before I kill you, there’s just one thing I want to know.”
* When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice.
* I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would prove a fatal distraction at a crucial point in time.
* I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but one look at the hero’s rugged countenance and she’d betray her own father.
* Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it’s too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.
* I will hire a fashion designer to create original uniforms for my Legion of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman foot soldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mind-set.

Et cetera.