This is Drew, who raps under the name CRUDBUMP, apparently, but who is also the mad genius behind Toothpaste for Dinner, one of my all-time favourite web comics. He is also the man who used a neti pot, but didn’t use warm salty water. You may recall the hilarious video.
He also sells T-shirts and they are mad hilarious, and they help support his site.
… because Santa is a responsible drinker!
The translation, at least how it’s phrased on the Vintage Ads LiveJournal page, goes like this:
I look like Santa because you’ve had too much to drink. It’s only October. If you drink, be considerate of the other passengers.
One of the commenters at LiveJournal calls him “The World’s Most Interesting Santa,” which made me lol, but it is supposedly a “manners” poster in the Tokyo subway.
Normally, I abhor both the overcommercialization and overSantafication of Christmas, as well as the nanny-state finger-waggery of polite society posters, but this one combines both of those into a delightful package, wraps it up with humour, and doesn’t scold you for having too much to drink, just reminds you that not everyone else has.
Now, time to start thinking about whether Santa would prefer whisky or wine left out for him this Dec. 24.
(via BoingBoing)
My Christmas tree, once all the decorations were carefully plucked from its branches and stored in boxes for next year, was sadly and unceremoniously hauled out the front door, where it current lies dumped on top of a pile of snow. It’s sort of sad, really.
Perhaps I should have sent it out in a one last blaze of glory, like these guys:
The idea is funny enough — their overwrought production is almost funnier. One quibble: this isn’t recycling, but reusing. For what it’s worth, my own Christmas tree will be reused too: the city will feed it to a woodchipper. Eventually, I suppose, it will be composted. That’s about a “green” as you can hope for.
From all of us here at Absurd Intellectual, who are moving, internet-less, and spending Christmas with family and loved ones instead of blogging, have a very Merry Christmas.
Or, if you’re from that side of the pond, Happy Christmas.
Or, if you’re not Christian and/or secular Western, we’ll wish you a Happy Holidays, and please enjoy the fact that you have a “free” day off, courtesy our culture.
Just watch. Merry Ho-Ho.
According to the Telegraph, a church in Aukland, N.Z., has caused a stir by posting the billboard, above, showing Joseph and Mary after sex. The article says that the church is aiming to spark conversation:
Archdeacon Glynn Cardy said the billboard was intended to lampoon the literal interpretation of the Christmas conception story “and that somehow this male God impregnated Mary”.
“What we’re trying to do is to get people to think more about what Christmas is all about,” he said.
“We actually think God is about the power of love as shown in Jesus, which is something quite different than a literal man up in the sky.”
He said the church had asked an advertising agency to come up with ideas for the poster and the one they had chosen was not the most radical.
“One of the options we turned down had a sperm coming down with the words ‘Joy to the World’,” he said.
Apparently, it has already been attacked by a protester who smeared brown paint over it.
I’d like to see the alternative proposals from the ad agency!
Yes, British supermarket chain Tesco was offering anti-redhead greeting cards shown above for sale — until the complaints started flooding in. Now, they’ve withdrawn the card and are apologizing.
Let me go on record as saying that I think the “ginger” thing has gone too far. It was funny in the alternative universe of South Park, and mildly amusing (but also disturbing) that some people carried it over into the real world. But now it seems to have taken on a life of its own.
Would anybody put out a card that said “Santa loves all kids. Even NEGRO ones.”? I don’t think so.
Although I tend not to get into the festival holiday spirit until the day before, here’s a video Christmas (holiday, if the c-word offends) card for you to enjoy. Ensure that your speakers are on…
I love it. I can’t stop watching it.
“Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. Or at least, there was, until a terrible inferno consumed him in Brazil.”
From the Asylum.com blog:
At a public unveiling for the year’s Christmas display in the poverty-stricken region, holiday revelers watched in horror as an apparent mechanical error caused St. Nick to catch fire and ultimately burn completely beyond recognition.
More images, capturing the conflagration from beginning to end, here and here.
Here’s a little Muppet action to get you in the holiday spirit.
(via)
Just in time for the holidays, here’s a blog that will burn out whatever child-like enthusiasm you still have for the magical Christmas of your youth.
Santa NO is just a collection of people dressed like Santa, doing inexplicable things.
Like this. Really? I mean, REALLY?
If I were the kind of person who bought Christmas gifts for my friends (and I’m not), I would seriously consider the Giant Gummy Bear on a Stick for one particular friend who enjoys his gummy products.
According to the Vat19 website:
Candy lovers rejoice! The Giant Gummy Bear on a Stick represents the most delicious candy confection that man has ever produced. Hand made (with gloves on) in the US, the Giant Gummy Bear is 88 times larger than a standard gummy bear. Each Giant Gummy Bear weighs half a pound and comes on a stick for easy, mess-free snacking.
That’s a whole lotta gummy. But there’s more… After skimming through all the videos and nutritional information about the Giant Gummy Bear on a Stick, I found The World’s Largest Gummy Bear.
The World’s Largest Gummy Bear is the lion of the candy world. There is no candy more magnificent or more powerful. This five-pound beast is the equivalent of 1,400 regular sized gummy bears and packs a whopping 12,600 calories.
Its monstrous size is only matched by its enormous taste. The World’s Largest Gummy Bear tastes just as delicious as its pint-sized counterpart.
Ugh. A five pound gummy bear.
In any case, let’s just assume that I would buy my friend this gift if I were the kind of person to do that kind of thing. After all, isn’t it the thought that counts?
Merry Christmas, buddy.