I’m currently scouring online and vintage maps, looking for a good non-highway route that will take us from Brandon to Onanole. I’m also perusing possible alternate routes, since the planned Pennywise-to-Poor Mike’s trek is closer to 60 miles than 50, and that’s if we stick to the (dangerous) highway. I think old railbeds and mile roads would be safer, but will probably add miles to the trip.

If we head along the train tracks, a la “Stand By Me”, we risk dodging trains.

But there aren’t any really long bridges along the way.

As I said, I can’t find any good north-south train tracks, but if we head out of town on the train tracks east, we’ll walk to Austin. I know there are tracks leading south-west, too.

I’m going to settle on a date, unless there are serious unforeseen objections, of Sunday, Oct. 4.

Here are some important caveats:

I’m pretty sure that walking along the highways and the tracks is officially discouraged — at a minimum. It’s also dangerous, even on low-traffic roads. This is a WALK AT YOUR OWN RISK event.

I am not, will not and can not take responsibility for anyone besides myself. I’m happy to walk and talk with a few friends, but I can’t guarantee that I won’t walk faster or slower than you, and any group might split up. I advise everyone to carry a cell phone, to let their friends and family know where they are going to be, and to arrange a ride home and the ability to be picked up along the route, if you twist an ankle or get dehydrated or something.

Speaking of dehydration, I’m planning on carrying water and food with me. You are responsible for your own well-being. There will not be water stations or food caches.

That said, I expect this will be fun — challenging, but fun.

• Sunday, Oct. 4
• Sunday, Oct. 11

Discuss in the comments.

In 1908, U.S. President Teddy Roosevelt wanted to make sure that his military officers were in good shape, so he issued an executive order — make ‘em walk 50 miles, he said, “and for the last half-mile double-time 200 yards, rest 30 seconds; double time 200 yards, rest 30 seconds and sprint the last 200 years to the finish line as proof of their fitness.”

Roosevelt, according to this research, gave them three days to finish the course, but some completed it in as little as a day. Some 55 years later, in 1963, newly-elected President John F. Kennedy was trying to bump up the country’s fitness as well. He found the old executive order and sent it to a military adviser:

Kennedy’s memo to Shoup stated, “Why don’t you send this back to me as your own discovery? You might want to add a comment that today’s Marine Corps officers are just as fit as those of 1908, and are willing to prove it. I, in turn, will ask Mr. Salinger for a report on the fitness of the While House staff.” (link)

For some reason, the press story about the discovery seized the public’s imagination, and lots of just regular folks attempted the challenge. And, for some reason, the 20-hour limit became the time to beat.

(For the first time ever, I’ve found more — and better — information on a Google Knol about the subject than on Wikipedia)

Anyway, the one-year fad, um, died out after Kennedy’s assassination, but there’s at least one 50-mile hike/race that’s been organized every year since 1963 — the JFK Memorial 50-mile in Maryland.

I first heard about it while flipping through vintage Life magazines in a used bookstore near Riding Mountain National Park. The magazine had loads of photos from nation-wide 50-mile hikes, and lots of clever captions. I was intrigued, and I really should have bought the magazine. It couldn’t have been more than a couple of bucks, but I put it back. Luckily, Google Images has Life archives on their search, and you can see some of the pictures here. (I included one at the top: “Chester, IL youths who beat the US Marine 50-mile walking record by 1 hr. and 15 min”)

The writer of the Google Knol, Paul Kiczek, theorizes that people got caught up in the phenomenon because 50 miles in 20 hours sounded like an achievable goal. And, once a few “everyday people” started completing it (housewives, postmen, children) it looked even more so.

I’m moderately fit. I think I could do it. Could you? Wanna join me?

I’m thinking about taking a day in September, maybe, and trying to hike 50 miles. I was also thinking that from my home in Brandon to the bookstore in Onanole where I found the Life magazine, it’s about 55 miles. That’s longer than the 50 miles, but I’ll bet I could do it. It’s also slightly longer than a double-marathon (which would be 52.4 miles) but I haven’t accurately mapped out the distance and there might be shortcuts where cars have to go around.

In driving to and from Riding Mountain, I’ve seen several old railbeds that might make good hiking trails, so we could stay off the main highway. If that fails, there are a lot of gravel mile roads that don’t get much traffic. So, who’s in?

(Full disclosure: I’ve been semi-obsessed with long-distance walking for several years, and I’d love to do some cross-continental hikes, but can’t afford the time. This may sate my appetite.)

Already, I’ve encountered things that I know will be richly rewarding in a way I can’t appreciate until I reread it. That thought fills me with both dread and delight.

I avidly anticipated coming across my first footnote, since they are legendary, and now that I have, I’d like to post something that was tweeted by Steve Juras a while back. Here’s a (pdf) link to David Foster Wallace’s course syllabus when he was teaching Literary Interpretation in 2005. It’s funny and dense and it’s got footnotes.

You should get a copy of Infinite Jest and join us in the read!

It does kind of shame me, as a literary type, to admit that I’ve never read Infinite Jest. Of all of David Foster Wallace’s great (I hear) writing, all I’ve read is “A Supposedly Fun Thing I’ll Never Do Again” which is kind of like saying you went to Paris and spent the whole week at the Eiffel Tower.

“A Supposedly Fun Thing I’ll Never Do Again” is the one thing that everyone’s read, because it’s short and it’s easy to get through and it’s funny. I loved it.

Infinite Jest is not short, nor is it easy to get through. In fact, it’s over 1,000 pages, and it’s notoriously difficult to get through. It’s also rumoured to be fabulously rewarding for those who do persevere.

This is the summer to finally read it all the way through. Why not? Everyone else is. Like Colin Meloy, lead singer of The Decemberists.

No, I’m serious — it’s “Infinite Summer”. There’s a blog and everything.

Pitched as “an endurance reading event,” the online book club plans to read through the whole book, starting tomorrow (Sunday). They’ve set a pace to 75 pages per week, meaning you can finish it this summer.

Of course, after having trekked to every damn bookstore in the city, I can’t find a copy of Infinite Jest anywhere, so I’m probably going to have to buy it on Amazon and then catch up, but I’m going to do it!

And I’m going to make Amy do it with me.

Surprise! Don’t you like finding things out on the blog, Amy?