Does science make a laughable movie better? Or worse?

Let’s say you wanted to make a downright B-movie. Sort of like Snakes on a Place. Except, that’s been done. Sort of like Piranha 2. Except that’s been done. Maybe giant man-eating fish on a plane? Nah — let’s juice it up: shark vs. plane. No, no: MEGA-shark vs. plane.

Right? Right. Except you can’t build a movie around that, no matter how cool the image is. I mean, where’s the conflict? So let’s add a villain. But who could stand up to a megashark? Perhaps a giant octopus?

Okay, here’s out movie: Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus. It writes itself. Here’s the trailer:

THIS IS A REAL MOVIE.

But here’s the key scene — the over-the-top raison d’etre of the whole thing — where Mega Shark, for reasons known only to Mega Shark, jumps straight out of the water and takes down a jetliner. Oh, yes:

You might say that, at that point, the movie had jumped the shark, but that would be kind of a jerky thing to say. Instead, let’s give the movie the benefit of the doubt.

Assuming that Mega Shark exists. And assuming that Mega Shark is hungry for some Boeing. Just what would have to go on, in order for Mega Shark to take that plane right out of the sky?

Luckily, this doesn’t have to be pure conjecture — the Internet has answered the question for us. In fact, one Stephen Taubman has gone one better, and created an infographic. If you click that link and go to his site, you can download a full-size pdf of it, suitable for framing. But here’s taste right here:

Thank-you, Stivo (that’s really what he calls himself, I’m not being flip). And thank-you Boing-Boing, for bringing this to my attention.