I like my coffee black black black black black. I don’t let sugar or artificial sweeteners touch any mug I might someday use. And when well-meaning baristas ask me if I “want room for cream?” I snarl at them, “Cream is the devil.”
They recoil — horrified, yet impressed despite their horror — and bring me my coffee, which is black black black black black.
And yet, I can appreciate the art of a good experiment. Once, as a child, I figured that since I like both sandwiches and stirfries, perhaps lunch that day would be a sopping soy sauce sandwich.
It worked out better when I attempted to combine my love of sandwiches with my love of refined white sugar.
So, knowing that you win some, you lose some, in the game of culinary invention, I was intrigued to read of the exploits of one brave soul — a man who goes by the alias Phronk — putting weird stuff in his coffee.
He’s got a whole blog devoted to it here. He’s tried cake, banana, peanut butter, peanut butter and jelly, smoked salmon cream cheese, and even bacon, as above. His rule? “The things I put in coffee must be things that I would tolerate eating on their own. So no, I will not put dog poop in coffee, but you’re right that it would be very weird.” A fair rule.
So, how did bacon coffee taste?
This project was a little daunting at first. The world of meat-based coffee additives is, as far as we could tell, completely unexplored. It could have turned out disgusting. But to be honest, it wasn’t. The bacon added a subtle smokey flavour that did not clash at all with the dark roasted coffee. The bacon grease left a beautiful sparkly film on top and gave the coffee a creamier texture than usual.
At the bottom of the mug is a beautiful puddle of bacon-wrapped coffee.
The only problem is that you’re left with a large chunk of bacon sitting there, which makes it hard to drink the last bit. And what do you do with the bacon? While bacon flavoured coffee is quite delicious, coffee flavoured bacon is bland at best.
If you’re into watching someone else drink weird things, then Putting Weird Things In Coffee is a blog you should follow. Hey Phronk — if you’re reading this — videos!
According to his personal blog, Phronk is a graduate student in psychology, so presumably he knows what he’s doing. But don’t be surprised if this turns out to be a thesis-in-the-making.
If you haven’t yet run across it, check out the Sneeze, specifically the “Steve, Don’t Eat It!” section, where Steve eats Beggin’ Strips, huitlacoche, natto, and 1991-vintage Urkel-Os, among other nasty foods. Sorry, “foods”.
Thanks for the link! Video eh? It could definitely be fun to see peoples’ reactions when trying some weird coffee for the first time.
Grant is right. I am studying all your reactions to the blog and writing it us as a thesis.
(not really)
Oooh and I do love Steve, Don’t Eat It! Thanks for reminding me to link to it.
He has it wrong, the cooked strip of bacon should be placed in the coffee maker’s ‘basket’ with the fresh grounds. This also works for orange and lemon slices… but not for honey and caramel… simply too drippy. Best of all, it works with cinnamon cut with garlic… trust me… it wakes you up!
Already been done here in Brandon. Just go to the Victoria Inn sometime for a Brandon Chamber of Commerce luncheon, and ask for coffee. You’d swear they used bacon fat for added flavour.
Does that make them fat-heads..?