Good news: God wants you to have a really awesome sex life

I’m really not sure how to go about writing this post without being somehow offensive, so I’ll say only this:

The more intense your devotion, the more difficult it is to tell apart from intentional parody.

Take, for example, the website SexInChrist.com:

Are you saving yourself for your wedding night? The Devil wants you to fail, that’s why he puts stumbling blocks in your way. But God wants you to succeed, and that’s why he has given us an alternative to intercourse before marriage: anal sex. Through anal sex, you can satisfy your body’s needs, while you avoid the risk of unwanted pregnancy and still keep yourself pure for marriage.

“I thought the Bible said anal sex was a sin.”

This is a common misconception. Anal sex is confusing to many Christians because of the attention paid to the Bible’s condemnation of homosexual acts. However, it’s important to realize that these often quoted scriptures refer only to sexual acts between two men. Nowhere does the Bible forbid anal sex between a male and female.

This is a parody site, as becomes (slightly) clearer when you go through the other sections, like “Masturbation, God’s Great Gift To Us” and “Threesomes Within a Christian Marriage” and “Fisting and God’s Will.”

But there’s a very similar site, called ChristianNymphos.org, that I’m pretty sure is not a parody at all. They address many of the same concerns, like masturbation and anal sex. But they are absolutely sincere in trying to do so as much as possible within the confines of the Bible.

I’ll leave the discussion to the comments, but I’m  so fascinated by the correlation between the parody and the sincere.

Also, I kind of wanted an excuse to post this video: