Why the Twitter valuation is valueless

 Posted by on 25 September 2009  Modern Life
Sep 252009
 

So Twitter, which has basically nothing in the way of revenue — at least nothing that I can see — is managing to raise $100 million dollars from venture capitalists who are betting that they can find a way to turn Twitter users into cash flow.

Does this remind anyone of the tech bubble at all, here?

Anyway, these investors are committing $100 million, and they are offering a “valuation” of Twitter that’s in about $1 billion. Which means their $100 million buys them about 10% of Twitter. Good for them.

But, this is problematic, because who is out there with hundreds of millions of dollars, clamouring to buy the other 90% of Twitter?

Or, to take the tack that 37signals is taking:

37signals is now a $100 billion dollar company, according to a group of investors who have agreed to purchase 0.000000001% of the company in exchange for $1.

…

In order to increase the value of the company, 37signals has decided to stop generating revenues. “When it comes to valuation, making money is a real obstacle. Our profitability has been a real drag on our valuation,” said Mr. Fried. “Once you have profits, it’s impossible to just make stuff up. That’s why we’re switching to a ‘freeconomics’ model. We’ll give away everything for free and let the market speculate about how much money we could make if we wanted to make money. That way, the sky’s the limit!”

Too funny.

So, who wants to make Absurd Intellectual an absolutely absurd valuation? After all, if you give me just a single, flat dime in exhange for 0.00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001% of the blog, then I’ll be the richest damn person ever. On paper, anyway.

Absolutely engrossing video of a book being manufactured by hand

 Posted by on 25 September 2009  Vintage/Retro
Sep 252009
 

In 1995, John Carrera found a century-old copy of Webster’s Dictionary. Enthralled by the engraved images illustrating the dictionary, he devoted the next decade-plus to making what you might call a “new-old” edition.

First, he tracked down the original metal engravings, which had been donated to Yale University. Then, he went through the 13,000 engraved blocks, selected the ones he wanted, and printed them by hand in a book all their own. The result is the “Pictorial Webster’s.”

But that’s just skimming the story. Watch the video for an in-depth look at the level of care and craftsmanship that went into printing and binding these editions by hand — from setting the metal type to tooling the leather. It’s incredible.

I only wish I had a few thousand dollars to buy an edition for myself.

The good news is that a $35 version is also available through Chronicle Books — same stuff, just not hand-made.

(via Coudal)

Moe… a real person?

 Posted by on 25 September 2009  Everything Else
Sep 252009
 
"You go through life, you try to resist the urge to punch people in the face, and for what? For some pimply little puke to treat you like dirt! Well, I'm better than dirt! Well... most kinds of dirt."

"You go through life, you try to resist the urge to punch people in the face, and for what? For some pimply little puke to treat you like dirt! Well, I'm better than dirt! Well... most kinds of dirt."

Moe is one of my favorite characters from the Simpsons.  When he first appeared in the early episodes, he was just only the receipient of Bart’s prank phone calls.  Eventually, he evolved into a fully realized character.

What I hadn’t realized is that Moe is based on a real person — Louis “Red” Deutsch.

Born in 1895, Deutsch opened the “Tube Bar” in New Jersey in 1933 after the end of Prohibition.  He ran the bar well into his eighties, selling it in 1980.  Deutsch was well-known in his area as being a bit of an eccentric.  According to his Wikipedia entry:

…there were no barstools, women were forbidden to enter until the 1970s, and anyone caught not drinking was subject to be beaten by Red and ejected by force.

The memory of Deutsch might have greatly faded since his death in 1983 if it hadn’t been for a series of prank calls he began receiving in the mid-70s.  Now known as the “Tube Bar prank calls,” the original calls (and their recordings) were made by John Elmo and Jim Davidson. 

These two young men would call the Tube Bar and ask for nonexistent individuals.  When Deutsch would call out the name, the gag would be revealed.  For example, “Al Coholic.”

Sound familiar?

Most of the time, Deutsch would call out the names, unaware that he was being subjected to a prank. Sometimes, however, Deutsch would catch on to the prank, and when he did, he responded with extreme hostility, shouting at the caller with profanity, obscene sexual references, usually involving the caller’s mother, and threats of physical harm. (Wikipedia)

Elmo and Davidson began circulating the tapes to their friends.  Over time, these recordings became an underground sensation, with Simpson’s creator Matt Groening being one of those who had obtained a copy.

Thus was the beginning of television comedy gold:  “You little SOB! If I ever find out who you are, I’m going to shove a sausage down your throat and stick starving dogs up your butt! ”

The official website for the Tube Bar prank calls can be found here.

World’s Deadliest … um, Things

 Posted by on 24 September 2009  Modern Life
Sep 242009
 

Blueringedoctopus

The blue-ringed octopus, above, has been cited as a producer of one of the top 33 most deadly substances on Earth. By, uh, TheToyZone.com:

Its brown-speckled coloration is distinguished by the blue bands around its tentacles which give it its name. This small animal can be very dangerous, but it gives a warning signal in advance. When the bands around the tentacles glow blue, poison is about to be released. The blue-ringed octopus almost never bothers humans unless provoked, but since it is so small, many people think it is harmless. No more than six inches across, this venomous sea creature has a true octopus shape.

Case Study: In 1967, a young soldier held an octopus on the back of his hand for a minute or two and had no sensation of a bite. But after putting the creature down, he noticed blood on his hand. Just a few minutes later he felt a prickling sensation around his mouth, which rapidly spread over his whole body. Within just fifteen minutes, he was almost completely paralyzed and barely able to breathe. After an hour, this healthy young sailor began to vomit and soon went into convulsions. One hour after the bite, he was taken to the hospital, still breathing, fully conscious but completely paralyzed with no muscle tone and no reflexes. He couldn’t even talk. In another hour, stopped breathing and was put on a heart-lung machine. Miraculously, he eventually survived the ordeal.

They give no citations or anything ,so I don’t know where the information comes from, or what the toxicity rankings are based on. I presume something like LD50?

Interesting read, though — especially noting just how much of the list is dominated by plants, rather than animals.

Saving the world through immortality

 Posted by on 24 September 2009  Modern Life
Sep 242009
 
I am Connor MacLeod of the Clan MacLeod. I was born in 1518 in the village of Glenfinnan on the shores of Loch Shiel. And I am immortal.

I am Connor MacLeod of the Clan MacLeod. I was born in 1518 in the village of Glenfinnan on the shores of Loch Shiel. And I am immortal.

According to an article in the Telegraph, immortality for humans is a mere 20 years away.  Through the use of nanotechnology, the aging process can be halted and reversed.  Or, so goes the theory.

When I mentioned this idea to a co-worker, he sighed and said “Great.  Now we’re all going to have to get neutered.”  He didn’t think that human immortality was a good thing at all.

I disagree.  I think human immortality could be the best way to save the planet and the human race.

First:  humans are notoriously short-sighted.  We do what we want – deplete the ozone, pollute water and air, kill off all manner of species and so on.  What do we care?  We’re going to be dead in 50 years anyway.  If suddenly we are all immortal, we’re forced to consider our own futures.  Sure, we can pollute this lake with a new factory today, but what will we use for water five or six decades down the road?

Don’t bother throwing the “but we think of our children” argument at me.  Humans as a whole are selfish creatures that do little self-sacrificing in the long term.  Why else do we tend to kick out our kids when they turn 18?  If my actions are going to directly affect me tomorrow or next year or sometime next century, I’ll learn to be more careful.  If we’re here forever, we’ll become better stewarts of the planet.

My second point relates more directly to my co-worker’s concern.  Overpopulation is becoming a problem now, but the overall solution to it is to ignore it.  We’re going to be dead, remember?  Immortality will force us into space exploration and colonization.

A twenty year mission to Mars to set up a colony?  Not a problem if you’re immortal.  It’s not like you’ll miss out on the prime of your life…   Terraforming?  Sure, it may take thousands of years, but we can wait on our orbiting space stations….

If immortality for humans is soon to be fact (and I have my doubts), there are sure to be growing pains as we learn to  take a longer view of things, but in the end, I’m sure it’ll be for the best.

To-day is Nat’l Punctuation Day … celebrate! With meatloaf?

 Posted by on 24 September 2009  Modern Life
Sep 242009
 

Today (Sept. 24) is National Punctuation Day — at least, according to the people who run NationalPunctuationDay.com. It’s the sixth annual, and they’re ready to celebrate — with a baking contest.

Yes, “hold on to your oven mitts,” they say, download the official recipe for Punctuation Meat Loaf (pdf), shape it into the form of a punctuation mark, send in some before-and-after pictures, and you could win a T-shirt.

Unfortunately, as Amy commented, some of the meat loaf pictures look as if they came out of someone’s colon.

Anyway, for a pretty good brief history of the evolution of punctuation,  I really enjoyed this article on About.com, especially this bit at the end:

Countless style guides have spelled out conventions for using the various marks–but they don’t always agree. In modern prose, dashes are in; semicolons are out. Apostrophes are tossed around like confetti, and quotation marks are commonly dropped at random on the most innocent words and phrases.

And so it remains true, as G. V. Carey observed decades ago, that punctuation is governed “two-thirds by rule and one-third by personal taste.”

Despite that, I see tons of people who use punctuation as if it were still the Middle Ages: ie. willy nilly.

Businesses, in particular, should pay particular attention to good grammar. Too often, I see poorly-spelled or -punctuated signs, and it doesn’t leave me with a very good impression of the business. Except, actually, for those times when I think to myself, “Wow, a store run by uneducated rubes! I’ll surely be able to baffle their salesclerks and arrange myself a deal!”

Today’s a good day to highlight these blogs:

At any rate, I know it’s a silly made-up holiday, but I fully support National Punctuation Day.

Whoops! Looks like Congress pulled a Homer!

 Posted by on 24 September 2009  Modern Life
Sep 242009
 

pullahomer

I haven’t been following it all that closely, but I’m at least aware of ACORN, the community association group that ran afoul of some for allegedly being too eager to sign up new (Democratic) voters. I know, yawn, right?

Except some U.S. politicians took so much exception to these do-gooders that they decided no taxpayer dollars should go to fund those nefarious activities.

So they wrote a law. Except, of course, you can’t pass a law that’s specifically designed to attack just one person or one organization, so they broadened the law, and it passed handily. Because, as it’s written, it sounds pretty noble: if your organization has filed any fraudulent forms with the government, then the government won’t give you any money ever again.

Sounds like it should take care of those lazy ACORNites who just filled in endless sheaves of “Mickey Mouse” voter registration cards, right?

Well, it also happens to de-fund the entire military-industrial complex.

Yes, you read that right: the 10 largest American defense contractors have all been convicted (recently) of fraud, and will no longer be eligible to bid on government contractors.

So … think they’ll ever enforce it?

Origin of stupidity

 Posted by on 23 September 2009  Modern Life
Sep 232009
 

Kirk Cameron, formerly every girl’s crush from playing Mike Seaver on Growing Pains, has become a born again Christian, and slightly crazy.

His video that attempted to prove the existence of god using a banana as an example got a lot of press a couple of years ago.

Well, Cameron’s been in the news again, this time for a video talking about the 150th anniversary of Charles Darwin’s Origin of Species.

You can watch the video here. I actually haven’t watched it yet, because, frankly, these kinds of videos make me batty.

The video describes how Ray Comfort, Cameron’s evangelical cohort, has written a 50 page introduction to Darwin’s book, which includes all the ways Darwin was bad (racism, misogyny) and his undeniable connection to Hitler. Oh … kay …

They plan to hand out Species with the new introduction free at universities. Because, you know, universities are secular brain-suckers, turning every good Christian student into an atheist.

But this is all just pre-amble so I can post this video response to Cameron and Comfort’s video. This chick is hilarious in her frustration.

WCMA weekend review: Friday night, part one

 Posted by on 22 September 2009  Music
Sep 222009
 

This past weekend, Brandon was treated to some amazing musical performances thanks to the Western Canadian Music Awards coming to town.

More than just a series of concerts, the WCMA’s was also an industry event, with conferences taking place on Saturday, culminating in the awards show which took place on Sunday.

Seriously, this was a big deal for Brandon.

Of course, not being connected to the music industry, my interest was solely in the festival and the incredibly talented musicians that descended on our town.

My experience of the festival, including pictures, after the jump!

Continue reading »

“Mad Jack” Churchill, archer of WW2

 Posted by on 22 September 2009  Everything Else
Sep 222009
 
"Mad Jack" Churchill can be seen on the right, sword in hand, leading the charge

"Mad Jack" Churchill can be seen on the right, sword in hand, leading the charge

Captain “Mad Jack” Churchill – the only man known to have killed an enemy in WWII with a long bow.  Seriously, do I need to follow that up with anything?

Fine.  How about a bit of a bio…

Jack Malcolm Thorpe Fleming Churchill was an Englishman born in Hong Kong (1906) who appears to have wished himself Scottish.  A life-long soldier, he spent peacetime years bored and mastering the bagpipes.

As soon as Germany invaded Poland and the Second World War was started proper, Churchill enlisted immediately.  His eccentricity manifested itself again with his insistence that he always carry a sword, bow and arrows with him into combat.  Famously, he once remarked that “any officer who goes into action without his sword is improperly dressed”.

When England put out a call for commandos, Churchill signed on despite not knowing what commandos were.  It sounded dangerous and he had heard there would be action — that was good enough for him.

Among his exploits were such scenes as playing the bagpipes from the lead boat landing at a German position in Norway (prior to leading the attack, of course); escaping from a concentration camp, and being the only known soldier to kill an enemy combatant with a bow.

Of particular note in Churchill’s WWII career is one particular raid that took place in 1943.  With the assistance of one rifleman (that’s a total of two soldiers for those of you doing the math), Churchill managed to capture 42 prisoners and a mortar squad during the course of one night, walking them out of town the next morning.

When the war in Europe was nearly done, he asked to be redeployed to the Pacific.  By the time he arrived, however, the war was over.  A soldier through and through, Churchill was not pleased with the end of the war.  He is said to have complained:  “If it wasn’t for those damn Yanks, we could have kept the war going another 10 years!”

(Lengthier articles about “Mad Jack” Churchill can be found at Damn Interesting and Wikipedia.)

Literary classics, meet modern illustrators

 Posted by on 22 September 2009  Everything Else
Sep 222009
 

For as long as I can remember, the Penguin Classics book designs have been fairly simple and sleek, with the trademark artwork at the top, and black section at the bottom, broken by a white bar.

You know, like this:

bleak

I have a ton of these books on my shelf, from picking them up at used book stores, or buying them for classes at the university. That’s the great thing about Penguin Classics — they work to publish the most accurate translations of stories like The Odyssey, or to publish books that may have fallen by the wayside.

Now it looks at though Penguin is wanting to update their classic cover design — with a twist. They have commissioned comic and graphic novel illustrators for the covers. Artists like Frank Miller, Art Speigelman, and Michael Cho, who talks about his experience on his blog, have created covers for Gravity’s Rainbow, The New York Trilogy, and White Noise, respectively.

I think this is a fantastic way to update Penguin’s look, and it enables the artists to get their work to a different (if not wider) audience.

whitenoisehuck

See all the covers in the flickr set here.

What uses more electricity, your XBox, or San Diego?

 Posted by on 21 September 2009  Modern Life
Sep 212009
 

Okay, the question is more like this:

Which uses all more electricity: all the video game consoles in the United States (Xbox, PS3, Wii, etc), or the entire city of San Diego?

The answer is, they’re tied. I’ll throw some numbers at you, for context:

  • 40 per cent of all homes in the U.S. have at least one console
  • San Diego is the ninth-largest city in the U.S.
  • A PS3 or an XBox uses about as much energy over a year as two brand-new refrigerators
  • A Wii uses less than 15% the power of a PS3 or an XBox
  • There are 1.3 million people in San Diego, many of them chugging air conditioners in the southern California heat.

My eyes just about popped out of my head when I realized just how much power is being used by people leaving their video games on for days at a time, just because it’s easier than hitting the save button.

I learned about this from a New York Times story, but you can download the original report here, where you will also find out that using you game console as a Blu-Ray player uses several times more energy than a standalone player would.

Oh, and by the way: that’s 16 billion kWh of energy that San Diego and video games each use every year. The report’s authors estimate that 11 billion kWh of that could be trimmed with simple energy-saving ideas like an auto-save hibernation feature, like the one on your laptop.

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