Will your pets be taken care of, after The Rapture?

That’s my cat Shadow. I love her, and take good care of her. When I go on vacation and I can’t take her with me, I always make sure that caring, loving people come by and make sure that she has food, water and playtime.

But what if I went on a permanent vacation? What if I never came back? What if Jesus came back and all the believers ascended to heaven, and left their pets behind?

Now, I don’t think I’m in any danger of being Raptured. But there are plenty of True Believers out there — and loads of them have pets.

At least two websites, postrapturepets.com and gracethrufaith.com, address the question of what will happen to the pets left behind. Interestingly, they both counsel the faithful to approach friends and neighbours, and gracethrufaith.com offers this advice as well:

Have you ever considered what a witnessing opportunity this could be? If you have friends who are not believers, have you considered asking them to take care of your pets in the event of your sudden disappearance, even if they don’t live nearby? It’s sure to start a discussion about why you think you might be disappearing.

If they don’t become believers after seeing your sincerity about the Rapture, they almost certainly will after you’re gone, and will adopt your pets. If they become believers before the Rapture, then pick someone else and repeat the process.

Of course, some of us have more money than friends — or maybe you’re sure that everyone you know will ascend to Heaven with you. In that case, enterprising atheists have a proposition for you:

We are a group of dedicated animal lovers, and atheists. Each Eternal Earth-Bound Pet representative is a confirmed atheist, and as such will still be here on Earth after you’ve received your reward.  Our network of animal activists are committed to step in when you step up to Jesus.

That’s at Eternal Earthbound Pets, which offers 10-year guarantees in 20 states that your pet will be taken care of post-Rapture. They charge just $110 per residence, with additional pets a very reasonable $15. Of course, they look to expand to other states as soon as they can, but if you’re overseas, a similar service exists in the UK called Post-Rapture Pet Care (a bargain at just £69.99, with no time limit, apparently).

And, it’s hit Craigslist, where $50 buys your pet protection and you peace of mind.

Of course, my lovely Shadow will still have me.