George Lucas is no designer

One of the things I’d always appreciated about the Star Wars aesthetic was that it seemed gritty and realistic. Things broke down — or never worked. Things got dirty, like Luke and R2 on Dagobah, above. And things seemed designed using an approach that ran counter to the clean, smooth lines of most other sci-fi. I liked Blade Runner for this same reason, by the way.

But, just because it seemed more realistic doesn’t mean that it was. Take for example, a list of very bad Star Wars design decisions, compiled here:

C-3PO
Can’t fully extend his arms; has a bunch of exposed wiring in his abs; walks and runs as if he has the droid equivalent of arthritis. And you say, well, he was put together by an eight-year-old. Yes, but a trip to the nearest Radio Shack would fix that. Also, I’m still waiting to hear the rationale for making a protocol droid a shrieking coward, aside from George Lucas rummaging through a box of offensive stereotypes (which he’d later return to while building Jar-Jar Binks) and picking out the “mincing gay man” module.

…

Stormtrooper Uniforms
They stand out like a sore thumb in every environment but snow, the helmets restrict view (“I can’t see a thing in this helmet!” — Luke Skywalker), and the armor is penetrable by single shots from blasters. Add it all up and you have to wonder why stormtroopers don’t just walk around naked, save for blinders and flip-flops.

Some of these things have been noted for years — and others can be explained away by saying “it was in a universe far, far away, man … things are different there” — but I think my favourite part of the list was in the comments, where someone points towards “The Email Inbox of Nardo Pace, the Empire’s Worst Engineer“:

Subject Death Star
From Foreman Galhi <fgalhi@empiremail.com>
Date A Long Time Ago 8:13 PM
To Nardo Pace <npace@empiremail.com>

Keep your chin up, ok? Don’t let the whole “Death Star getting blown up” thing get you down.

It’s really my fault just as much as it is yours. Your original plan called for three weak spots, and I asked you to cut it down to one. If I had suggested we get rid of the weak spots altogether none of this would have happened.

What do we do now? Mope? No. We learn from our mistakes and make an adjustment to the blueprint for the new Death Star I’m working on.

Construction is going great, by the way. As you suggested, instead of constructing a defensive shell around the framework then working my way inward, I’m just building all the cool stuff in the middle first. I think you’re right, it’s the best way to go.

Too funny.