Newspaper watch: ‘Magic coins’ will save them

I don’t always love love love Charlie Brooker’s columns in the Guardian, but this one was spot-on: “You know what’ll save newspapers? Magic coins. Yes, magic coins. And I’ve just invented them.”

Of course, he spends half the column ragging on the iPhone, which is even funnier:

I’m unmoved in the face of friends screaming at me to join the iPhone cult. It’s horrible. Here are a few iPhone apps I’d like to see:

1. An app that makes the iPhone scream ‘I’VE GOT AN IPHONE!’ each time the user pulls it out of their pocket. Once activated, it would be impossible to switch off. The only way to stop the constant embarrassment would be to repeatedly crack the device against a wall, or preferably your own face, until it shattered.

2. An app billed as a “comical toilet paper simulator”. You switch it on, pretend to “wipe” your backside, and hey presto: the screen appears smeared with virtual pixilated poo.

Disappointingly, when he gets around to the ‘magic coins’ bit, it’s just a rehash of the micropayments model. Except he thinks it should be fun — like a video game:

On your desktop: a cartoon purse filled with fat gold coins. Pull out a penny. It shimmers on the screen. Drag it toward a “coin slot” situated right there on the web page you want to view, and drop it in. It disappears with a satisfying ker-chunk. And you’re in. If you’re feeling cavalier, you can throw your coin toward the slot; with practice it won’t bounce off the rim. And hey, iPhone users: we’ll even let you play. You can “fling” coins from your phone directly on to the screen.

While I don’t buy his specific version, there’s something to be said for the idea of making payments more than just easy — fun. It’s like a value added. I wonder if you could come up with a news video game that would somehow reward users enough that they would actually pay to play.

Just off the top of my head, what about a crossword variant, computer generated, using actual news stories. Or a “What Type Of News Consumer Are You?” quiz, a la Facebook.

Actually, some sort of social networking is probably a natural fit for news websites, especially smaller ones that serve a specific community. Tied in with geo-tagged photos and blogging functions, and a basic level of functionality could be free, while you pay for extras. Sites like Flickr work allong similar lines, but now we’re getting away from the “fun” attitude.

Any ideas out there?