So, you’re drunk. And then you decided to text someone on your phone.
If it’s funny, it might have ended up on Texts From Last Night, a website I spent a few minutes reading, until I got depressed by the representations of humanity therein. It’s like being really sober, and watching really drunk people. It’s also a lot like reading people make up stuff that they think would have been hilarious. But you know what, people who submit fake drunk texts to this website? If you were as funny as you think you are, you’d be a Farrelly Brother. But you’re not.
Somewhat better than the raw feed of texts are their crowd-curated “best night” and “worst night” texts. A sample of best nights:
(312): I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
(774): i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled “dibs!”…
(919): so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
(the numbers are area codes)
Grant Hamilton
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