Experiments with Expiry Dates: Six-month old eggnog

 Posted by on 25 June 2009  Everything Else
Jun 252009
 

So, I’ve been holding on to this carton of eggnog since Christmas. At first, I was hoping for a good reason to crack it in January, but that never happened, so it got older and older and older …

Finally, I knew I would have to so something like this. Something waaaay beyond the pale. Something crazy!

Plus, I’ve been thinking about “best before dates” a lot lately. People are so convinced that they’re some magical suddenly-spoiled date. That’s just not true.

Actually, from what I’ve learned, they’re “sell by” dates. That date you see printed on your yogurt or packaged deli meat is the absolute final date that stores have to have it off the shelf (not that they always pay attention). Generally, the food is supposed to be guaranteed good for at least two weeks past that date.

That’s unopened, of course. Once you open that cottage cheese, it might go bad in a couple of days, depending on how well you seal it, and how much you keep it refrigerated.

As I’ve found out, though, just because it’s pasteurized and sealed, it could still go bad, even in the fridge. Sad.

Merry Summer Christmas!

Grant Hamilton

  • Juel

    Okay, I am just about to throw up…GAK. Maybe you should keep the chunks for cheese of the week.

  • MPot

    Coward! I feel cheated. Michael Bay raped my childhood!

    (Damn, wrong blog.)

  • http://endlessspin.blogspot.com Curtis

    I don’t know what I appreciate more Grant: the fact you went to such elaborate lengths to script a scenario where you potentially poison yourself, or the fact you’re confident enough that you will retain your readership by appearing shirtless on camera for over four minutes.

    Hope the rum was a good substitute.

  • http://www.absurdintellectual.com Amy Breen

    Okay, you’re lucky you didn’t actually drink any of that, because I wouldn’t have kissed you for at least two weeks.

  • http://www.absurdintellectual.com/ Grant Hamilton

    @Juel — those were some awful chunks, but they would have made a hilarious cheese of the week, you’re right :)

    @MPot — I feel a little bat that I didn’t try to swallow at least a little bit of the rotten eggnog. Oh wait, no I don’t. It was one of the worst smells I’ve ever smelled.

    @Curtis — I’ll be sure to let you know how much my pageviews plummet ;) And the rum was definitely worth it!

    @Amy — You have no idea how close you are on that two weeks comment: just from shaking, I had the smell on my fingers and had to scrub it off later. And scrub and scrub. Uck. It was an intestine-convulsing smell.

  • MPot

    Actually Curtis, I now check in several times a day just to admire grant’s taut, glistening pecs.

  • Colin Corneau

    At first I wondered, why is Grant wearing those white stockings under his shorts. Then I realized there were no stockings…

  • http://www.absurdintellectual.com/ Grant Hamilton

    Something else I remembered — if anyone out there is an aspiring amateur filmmaker or Foley tech, the sound of clumpy, six-month-old eggnog being poured into a toilet would work perfectly for that vomiting scene.

  • Determinator

    Next time, set the rum on fire. I wouldn’t have minded seeing a few singed nose hairs.

  • Alawna

    This video is perfection. Like I said the other night, I love the staging and the cinematography in general. I have laughed out loud with every watch and re-watch thus far. Only you would wrap up rotten egg nog as a gift to yourself for “Summer Christmas”. I really hope you continue with videos in your blog :) .

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