Apr 272009
 

jasper

Talking out of turn … that’s a paddling. Looking out the window … that’s a paddling. Staring at my sandals … that’s a paddling. Paddling the school canoe … ooh, you better believe that’s a paddling.

Turns out that corporal punishment might actually work. At least according to an article in Newsweek that looks at the remarkable turnaround in one school:

As punishment for a “major offense,” such as fighting or stealing, students are told to place both hands on the seat of a leather chair and brace for what [principal David] Nixon calls “a whippin’.” Before he begins, though, he sits the child down for a quiet talk about why he, or she, is in trouble. He tries to determine if a deeper issue, such as a problem at home, might warrant a meeting with a counselor. If the child shows remorse, Nixon will often send him or her back to class without a spanking. Otherwise, he makes sure he is calm, and he makes sure his elbow is still. Then he delivers “three licks” to the child’s rear end. If the child is a girl, then a female administrator does it. Some of the kids cry. Some are silent. Some want a hug. And after the child is sent back to class, still stinging, Nixon sits alone in his office and thinks about what the child has done, and what he has done. “If I could burn that paddle in my stove,” Nixon says, “I would. This is the worst part of my job.”

I was never paddled in school. I don’t even know if corporal punishment still happened at any of the schools I went to. But I do know that we believed it did. And that belief kept us in pretty good line. That’s pretty much the experience found in the article linked above. Once the kids know that there is an immediate, serious consequence for bad behaviour, misbehaviour dropped dramatically.

Food for thought.

Apr 272009
 

This is getting ridiculous. When I first saw this video, I had to check the date, because it sounds like something that might have been faked for April Fool’s Day. But apparently it’s legit.

So, here’s a review of the Charmin “Sit or Squat” iPhone app, which tells you where the nearest public toilet is. Gee whiz!

Apparently, it’s also available for all you Blackberry users out there.

UPDATE: There’s a competitor!!

Just give me some peace of mind

 Posted by on 27 April 2009  Music
Apr 272009
 
2/6 of White Rabbits by flickr user tammylo

2/6 of White Rabbits by flickr user tammylo

Percussion Gun is the fantastic new song from Brooklyn band White Rabbits. When I first heard it, I was kind of indifferent. The moment it ended, however, I kept thinking about it. The more I thought about it, the more I loved it. I’ve listened to it probably two dozen times since.

Every single element, from the rolling, thrumming drums, to the harmonies and the addition of the piano notes later in the song work together perfectly. And don’t get me started on the growl of the singer. Awesome. All of it.

White Rabbits – Percussion Gun

Their second album It’s Frightening produced by Britt Daniel of Spoon will be released May 19.

EVERYBODY PANIC!

 Posted by on 27 April 2009  Modern Life
Apr 272009
 

OMIGOD!  Everyone panic!  There’s a new disease that will undoubtedly sweep the globe and kill us all!

Puh-leeze.  It never fails to astonish me how readily the global community will panic.

In case you don’t listen to the radio, watch TV, read blogs or pick up a newspaper, there is a new strain of the flu that apparently has originated in Mexico and is now making its way around the world.  According to the Washington Post:

The United States declared a “public health emergency” yesterday as countries from New Zealand to Scotland investigated suspected cases of illness that they feared might be a strain of swine flu that has been identified in Mexico, the United States and Canada.

Yes, a public health emergency.  It certainly sounds dangerous.  And, to be fair, it is responsible for a number of deaths in Mexico.  According to most mass media sources, so far the only deaths due to this strain of swine flu have been in Mexico and may number over one hundred.  The important word there is “may.”

Fewer details are available about the outbreak in Mexico. Health officials there have said they are investigating more than 1,600 cases of suspicious, severe flulike infections, with 103 people reportedly dead. Just 22 cases of swine flu have been confirmed there, however.

See there?  Only 22 cases have been confirmed.

Yes, it’s sad.  Of course it is.  But one of the undeniable truths about life is that it is finite.  Everyone dies.  But is this particular, specific case of death worth freaking out about?  I don’t think so.  How many people die everyday in Mexico?

According to the CIA factbook, the death rate in Mexico is 4.78 per 1,000 people.  The estimated 2009 population of the country is 111,211,789.  By my math that means that every single day there are about 1,456 deaths.  If 22 of them are a result of this virus, that is a total of 6.9% of the deaths.

That math makes it look impressive.  However, that assumes that ALL of the confirmed deaths occured on a single day.  I’m not convinced.

Yet, panic grows.

Masses were canceled and a high-profile soccer game was played before an empty stadium as officials urged the public to take precautions.

Does no one remember SARS?  The Avian flu?  Both of those diseases were touted as the End of Days.

What everyone needs to remember, and very few do, is that the deaths that result from these diseases tend to be those most at risk of infection – the sick, the elderly and the very young.  Simple, basic hygenic precautions offer great amounts of protection. 

I mean, what kind of world do we live in when the WHO (World Health Organization) has to remind people to wash their hands?

Were I a more suspicious man, I would suggest that someone trying to divert our attention away from the ecomony for a little while.  And, if I were such a man, I would say that by the look of the headlines around the world, that someone is doing a very fine job.

Apr 262009
 

mb_id

When the government of Manitoba launched its new graphic identity, the slogan “Spirited Energy” drew nothing but derision. Personally, I found it meaningless. It felt like it had been brainstormed in a boardroom and focus-grouped to death.

It was supposed to represent all kinds of things, from our aboriginal cultural heritage to our hydro-electric potential. but I applied my non-patented, but never-fail slogan-o-matic test to it — and it failed.

What you do is replace every word in a slogan with a synonym. If it continues to apply, you’ve probably got a pretty good slogan: it should be specific to what you’re trying to represent. But if it’s meaningless buzz, the synonyms test will reveal your slogan as empty, hollow, and ridiculous-sounding.

“Spirited Energy” became, in my test, “Ghostly Power.” Dumb. Just like the original.

Our old slogan, “Friendly Manitoba,” is almost unbeatable in the synonym test since the word Manitoba is specific by definition. And synonyms for “friendly” are all pretty good.

Luckily, we’re not alone in the search for a don’t-offend-anybody, so-vague-it’s-vapid, doublespeak of a slogan.

Gail Collins writes about the new Wisconsin slogan, “Live Like You Mean It” — and manages to work in a load of other bad state slogan choices:

The number of bad slogan-driven tourism campaigns is legion. For a while, Louisiana was trumpeting “Come As You Are. Leave Different,” which sounded sort of sinister, recalling that TV series about vampires roaming the bayous.

Until fairly recently, Connecticut’s slogan was “We’re Full of Surprises,” which was really bad. While the state has a long shoreline and nice bed and breakfasts, when you think of Connecticut surprises, you mainly remember the time the governor went to jail. And we will not dwell on the period when Rhode Island christened itself the “Birthplace of Fun” and allowed the tourism division to dot the landscape with 6-foot-tall statues of Mr. Potato Head.

Happily, all of these states have moved on. But the slogan arc does not always move upward. West Virginia replaced “Almost Heaven” with “Open for Business.”

And Wisconsin has “Live Like You Mean It,” which sounds less like an invitation to vacation than a self-improvement project.

She also notes that “Live Like You Mean It” was lifted from a Bacardi campaign not that far back. Let’s just apply the non-patented, never-fail, slogan-o-matic synonym test to that … and we get “Exist As If You Intend To.” Uh-huh.

I’d rather live under “Ghostly Power.”

Apr 262009
 

socialistcreditcard

It’s an idea that some might call (horror!) “socialist.” But Slate writer Christopher Beam asks, reasonably, if the U.S. government is taking over the banks, why not get directly into the credit card business?

Sure, there’s talk of regulating the credit industry a little more stringently — even here in Canada. But Beam wants to know if that’s enough — or even if it’s the best way:

But instead of cracking down on companies that treat their customers poorly, why doesn’t the government just offer a credit card of its own? After all, government regulation may help, but it’s unlikely to solve the problems of the credit industry—namely, spiraling interest rates coupled with rising defaults. Obama likes to talk about constructive alternatives. Why not offer an O-card? With his face on it?

State-owned banks in other countries already issue their own credit cards. And since profit isn’t the main goal, they can offer lower interest rates and fewer fees. Beam also mentions that a government-backed credit card could help out troubled borrowers — they could refinance on the new card, rather than on their old cards, and stay above water.

But he also says that government-issued credit cards would be handed only to the “super creditworthy.”

Sounds like it’s great from a keeping-the-taxpayers-from-having-to-cover-losses perspective, but I don’t know that it’s the super creditworthy who are having all the problems these days.

I suspect that, since the government has powers of coercion (like withholding your tax refund) that would make Visa or Mastercard jealous, it could just offer a lower limit to people with imperfect credit, but steady jobs.

So why not? As Beam points out, the government will already help loan you money for things like student loans and mortgages. And I’ll add that you loan the government money every time you buy a savings bond.

May I even suggest that, since the government would be getting into the market, that they call it “Social Credit“?

(Image credit to Flickr user doyoubleedlikeme. It’s an American Express “Red” card, offered only in the UK as part of the Product(Red) line, but I couldn’t resist the socialist implications.)

Apr 262009
 
Photo from Flickr user calafellvalo.

Photo from Flickr user calafellvalo.

I hadn’t been hearing too much lately about Colony Collapse Disorder — the mysterious demise of thousands of bees across much of North American and Europe — but I suspect that’s because it was winter. Now that we’re into spring, I bet it’ll be in the news again.

In case you need a refresher, wild honeybees have almost disappeared, thanks to pesticides and urbanization, but roving professional beekeepers roam the southern U.S., taking their hives with them in trucks, and making sure that crops get fertilized.

So, if large numbers of bees are suddenly dying — and Colony Collapse Disorder means that they are — it’s not just honey production that’s affected. Crops like watermelons, for example, rely on bees for pollination. Check out the huge list of crops pollinated by bees on Wikipedia.

Luckily, scientists have been working to identify the cause of the collapses. Initial reports focused on the Varroa mite, perhaps in conjunction with some other mite, or disease.

But the “real” cause was often unstated. Reading between the lines, you can see that bees in industrial hives are trucked around the country, bathed in diesel fumes, their honey is stolen and sold, then replaced by cheaper sugar water to keep them alive. These bees are stressed. If their immune systems can’t keep up with one extra infection, it could be the tipping point.

Although that won’t change (ask me about my hopes for the reintroduction of feral bees, though) at least scientists are making some progress at identifying the possible cause of Colony Collapse Disorder. Interestingly, it’s not Varroa.

Science Daily quotes a report in the journal Environmental Microbiology Reports:

Scientists from Spain analysed two apiaries and found evidence of honey bee colony depopulation syndrome (also known as colony collapse disorder in the USA). They found no evidence of any other cause of the disease (such as the Varroa destructor, IAPV or pesticides), other than infection with Nosema ceranae. The researchers then treated the infected surviving under-populated colonies with the antibiotic drug, flumagillin and demonstrated complete recovery of all infected colonies.

Nosema ceranae is a fungal parasite that has also been detected in healthy bees, however, so it’s premature to say that Colony Collapse Disorder has been solved. But this is the first time, to my knowledge, that someone’s managed to prevent a weak colony from actually collapsing. And that’s great news! I’m going to celebrate with a peanut butter and honey sandwich.

Apr 252009
 

wallet

It was cool to read a story in the Toronto Star today about how the newspaper left fake wallets around, filled with cash and ID, but got most of them back. A whopping 15 out of the 20 were returned (and there are two more possibly returned; The Star is still trying to reach some people who left messages.

Some of the wallets were stripped of the cash, but most of them came back with the $43.77 intact. And most of them came back quickly. In a sweet touch, the Star donated the returned money to a charity of the returner’s choice.

Some theorize that the personal touches in the wallet may have tugged at peoples’ heartstrings:

Ken Gallinger, the Star’s ethics columnist, estimated we’d see no more than half a dozen wallets returned.

On hearing the results, he offers an explanation: “It’s hard to do bad to someone with a name and a story. I would think the more you put in a wallet that connects it to a real person, that just adds to the motivation to return it.”

It reminds me of a story Dateline did (read the transcript here) about iPod theft. In that case, all their bait iPods were stolen, and none picked up by Good Samaritans. Hard to find an iPod’s owner, mind you, unless it’s in a purse with ID.

I also thought of a story from a while back in New York. Instead of a newspaper, it was the police who dropped purses, backpacks and shopping bags — and then nabbed those who picked them up, if it didn’t look like they were going to return the stuff. Boy, the backlash, though:

More than half of those 220 [arrests] involved people with no prior criminal record. In dismissing one case, a Brooklyn judge noted that the law gives people 10 days to turn in property they find, and suggested the city had enough real crime for the police to fight without any need to provide fresh temptations. The penal law also does not require that found items be turned over to a police officer.

In February, Aquarius Cheers, a 31-year-old Manhattan man who said he was on a shopping expedition with his wife, spotted a Verizon shopping bag with a cellphone and iPod inside at the 59th Street station of the No. 1 train.

As he was looking in the bag, a train arrived. Mr. Cheers said he and his wife boarded, rushed past a uniformed officer, bringing along the bag with the intention of looking for a receipt. Undercover officers then grabbed him. After his case was reported … prosecutors vacated the charges.

It’s just too easy, I think, to tempt people into misbehaving, and there’s a thin line between this and entrapment. The good news in Toronto is that it doesn’t seem to be a big problem. I would like to see a series of similar experiments done cross-country, in big centres and small, to see if there are any trends.

Thus far, reporters in Toronto have indeed noted a couple of trends, although they caution that 20 wallets is a pretty small sample:

Similar wallet experiments conducted by Reader’s Digest and the Chicago Sun-Times did note that people in affluent areas were less likely to return found property than those in lower-to-middle class areas.

Our pattern of discovery showed that downtowners were quicker than suburbanites, and that more wallets were returned by men than women. Discuss.

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Beating around the Busch

 Posted by on 24 April 2009  Modern Life
Apr 242009
 

buschstadium

Ahhh, Busch Stadium in St. Louis. Home of the Cardinals. Home of the 80th All-Star Game.

I may never end up going there, but I do like baseball, and I’ll bet it would be a great time. Could you imagine? Get a nice seat, settle in for a great ball game, decide that maybe a brewski would taste good on this warm August day. Ha! It’s Busch Stadium — you know what kind of beer I’d get:

buschbeer

Yup, a cold Busch beer at Busch Stadium. Awesome.

Except, also, exceedingly difficult, at least according to a writer at the Riverfront Times:

Until this year the “cold as a mountain stream, smooth as its name” beverage had been available at nearly all of the dozens of stand-alone beer vendors found inside the ballpark’s concourses. This year those same vendors only offer Budweiser, Bud Light and Bud Select. And they do so only in 16-ounce, plastic bottles that sell for $7.75. … When I asked a vendor Wednesday night where I could get a Busch beer, she informed me that only three locations in the entire ballpark serve the libation.

Yikes! A spokesperson later clarified that there might be 10-15 locations where you can get Busch, but that’s still dwarfed by the number selling Budweiser. To put it in perspective, you can also get a St. Louis micro-brew, Schlafly, at about the same number of locations.

Interestingly, the writer also notes that the 16-ounce plastic bottles work out to a cost of 48¢/oz. Last year’s Busch tallboys were 24 ounces for a mere dollar more ($8.75) — which works out to a relative bargain at 36¢/oz.

No word on the cost of peanuts and Cracker Jack.

(Stadium photo from Flickr user Joe Penniston. Beer picture from Flickr user Speed-Light.)

Apr 242009
 

meatcards

This, to the best I can tell, is not a Photoshop job. This is a real, edible product. I want.

From the official meatcards.com site:

We start with 100% beef jerky, and SEAR your contact information into it with a 150 WATT CO2 LASER.

Screw die-cutting. Forget about foil, popups, or UV spot lamination. THESE business cards have two ingredients:

MEAT AND LASERS.

Could there be anything more manly? I presume that they are difficult to carry in a wallet, though.

Vegetarian? Vegan? They say that they are working on fruit leather cards, and “beet jerky” cards. No word on cost or availability yet.

(Once more, thanks to BB)

Apr 242009
 

It’s only a pet peeve, but for want of a better forum to spout off about it, I’m going to subject you to my geeky vitriol.

Almost every day, in my role as a bookseller, I hear someone exclaim “Oh, look!  They have comic books!”  From my lofty perch behind the counter, I try to patiently explain that the display of reasonably-priced product they are looking at is not, in fact, one of comic books but graphic novels.

Sometimes I’m ignored.  Occasionally, people will shrug and say “whatever.”  Most often, however, I am asked to explain the difference between the two.  To date, my answer has been consistent and based on nothing but my own personal opinion that the difference lies in the binding.  I hold that comic books are the traditional saddle stitched (held together with staples in the spine) comic magazines, while graphic novels are bound like books — either in a hardcover or tradepaper book format.

Although this answer satisfies most curious individuals, I’ve decided I need someone with more authority to back me up on this argument.  I also want to slap down the “whatever” people to make them realize that there is indeed a fundamental difference.

It might not matter to them, but it matters to me.

Thus begins my search for support for my thesis (sure, I could look for counter-arguments, but I come from the Michael Moore school of debate). 

When searching for THE voice of graphic novels, comic books and all things wild and wonderful, the first and often only person to look to is Neil Gaiman.  Trust Neil.  He’ll have something to say.  In fact, he says it in answering a question:

I’ve been trying to figure out if there’s actually some meaningful difference between a “comic book” and a “graphic novel.” Sandman started off its life as 76 comic books, but now it seems almost univerally referred to as a series of graphic novels. Are graphic novels just comics that someone, somewhere believes are art? Does a comic become a graphic novel when its collected? Is it just an arbitrary term that people can feel free to use however they please?

Yes.

No, there’s no meaningful difference. For some reason the term “big thick collected or original comic published in book form” has never really caught on, while “Graphic Novel” did.

It’s a sales category, and a clue to where in the bookstore (or comic shop) you can buy the story. Sandman was indeed 76 comic books, and you can still find those issues on eBay, and on the walls and back-issue bins at comic stores. But if you want to read the story now, the easy way is as a series of ten graphic novels. That’s how they stay in print.

Then there are weirder things. My book with Dave McKean, “THE WOLVES IN THE WALLS”, is a children’s book in Barnes and Noble, but it’s a graphic novel in Borders. This is because it was bought by the children’s buyer (who decides what goes into the children’s section) at B&N, but by the graphic novel buyer at Borders.

There you go.  It’s a “big thick collected or original comic published in book form.”  That seems to imply that it is the format that is the important aspect to consider when trying to determine if something is a comic book or graphic novel.  Thus, I am able to forego purchasing my, say, Spider-Man monthly comics with the idea of purchasing the same story arc bundled into a sturdier tradepaper format at some point down the road.

Simple.  But, as with anything worth knowing, there’s more to the story…

Diamond Comics is the world’s largest distributor of English-language comics, graphic novels, and related pop-culture merchandise.  According to their website:

A comic book or “pamphlet” is the traditional periodical form most people are familiar with. A comic book can stand on its own or be a part of a series. A series is also sometimes called a “title,” which refers to the entire series, not a single, discrete unit.

Sometimes, multiple issues of a series are collected into one volume. It can be hardcover or softcover. Softcover editions are often called “trade paperbacks,” or just “trades,” regardless of size. A hardcover or a softcover can also be called a “graphic novel.”

When a story is published in the hardcover or soft cover format first (that is, without periodical serialization), it is referred to as a graphic novel and only a graphic novel.

Many of these terms are inter-changeable, as you can see. A “graphic novel” can refer to a hardcover or soft cover, to a reprint collection or an original story. Similarly, all of the formats referenced can be called “comics” or “comic books.”

Sigh.  I was sure that this blurb would back up my argument — and it did, right up to the last sentence.  But I think they threw that in there just to make sure they didn’t offend any geeks who might have differing views on the issue.

Next up:  “geeks” vs “nerds”.

Apr 242009
 

Warren Ellis penned the scripts for the new series “GI Joe: Resolute” which I am so going to get into.

The first 10 or so episodes have been posted to YouTube, but there are high-quality versions at Adult Swim, for ‘Mericans only. In Canada, some information says it’s being broadcast on Teletoon Detour, maybe at 11:15 p.m., Fridays. That’s today! Too bad I don’t have cable. Or can’t verify that information on the Teletoon Detour official schedule. But I do have the Internet!

(Brought to my attention via Boing Boing, but only because I’ve been so bad at checking out warrenellis.com, which is always a great read.)