Cheese of the Week: Frigo Cheese Heads

Sometimes, you just have to slum it. Made by Saputo, these Frigo-branded “Cheese Heads” are sticks of compressed processed cheese, individually sealed in perfect snack-size packages. They are half cheddar-coloured and half monterey jack-coloured, but it would be a stretch to label this cheese with any kind of name other than “processed cheese product.”

Purchased when Amy’s mom and step-dad were in the States on a weekend trip, they come in a big bag or 30 or something. This batch is also a movie tie-in with “High School Musical 3: Senior Year,” a film I have zero interest in seeing. Actually, since I would actively go out of my way to avoid seeing it, I suppose you could say that I have a negative interest.

Oh man, I don’t know whether I want to eat too many of these things, but one or two of them at a time is great fun!

You peel back the plastic and pop the cheese stick in your mouth. It’s slightly greasy, very firm, and it’s spongy against your teeth. It’s resilient. It’s like discount mozza. This is cheese that is designed for kids.

Actually, it’s so firm, it feels a little like biting into wax — or perhaps a crayon.

That’s appropriate, because this cheap-o cheese kind of tastes like wax. It’s barely-flavoured at all, with just a hint of dairy — and loads of salt. I couldn’t perceive a difference between the orange side and the white side.

Of course, not everyone likes the more pungent cheeses, like gorgonzola or blue cheese, and soft or crumbly cheeses just don’t work well as an easy-to-carry snack. A firm, inoffensive cheese — especially one that individually packaged — is perfect to pop into a purse or a lunch box. That’s this cheese’s niche, and it fills the niche well.

It’s also great because — not that cheese is a difficult-to-prepare snack — I don’t even have to sully a knife. This cheese satisfies not only a grumble in my tummy, but also my laziness.

Too bad about the excess plastic wrap. And the lack of palate. But about that plastic wrap:

Check it out! You peel the plastic like a banana, basically, and then the cheese itself can be peeled into strings! I know, this is the whole shtick behind the “cheese heads” character. And, really, I knew it all along, I was just playing you, my readers. I call it creating drama.

Look, peeling the cheese strings is pretty fun — it’s probably the best part of this particular cheese, and it’s definitely the biggest selling point. But I’m too impatient to eat my cheese that way. I chew down on hard candies, why wouldn’t I chomp these Cheese Heads?

So perhaps these aren’t the best cheese product for me. As a cheese-aholic, I’ll keep eating them if they’re around — the only bad cheese is no cheese at all — but they’re not my first choice for cheesy snack.

If you have kids, though, I recommend them!

…

Bonus! Here are the movie trivia questions that were printed on the cheese sticks:

1. To what does Sharpay have an allergic reaction during the show?
   Highlight for answer: >Jimmie’s cologne<
2. Before committing his free period to musical practice, what did Troy intend to do with that time?
   Highlight for answer: >Work on his truck<

I have no idea whether those are simple or tough. Hope you did well! But I’m tapped out. If you want more brain-busting “High School Musical 3: Senior Year” trivia, you’ll simply have to buy more Cheese Heads!