Who decides who gets a holiday, anyway?

 Posted by on 12 April 2009  Vintage/Retro
Apr 122009
 

lazarus

Here’s a list of people who came back from the dead, about 2,000 years ago (give or take — don’t get all carbon-dating on me):

  • Jesus
  • Lazarus

Now, here’s a list of holidays based on them:

  • Jesus: Christmas, Easter
  • Lazarus: none!

WTF?

It’s worse when you consider that Jesus also gets like Good Friday, Lent and Palm Sunday in the whole “extended Easter” thing. Lazarus, though, still shut out.

And don’t give me the whole “Jesus was the one who brought him back” stuff. God was the one who brought back Jesus, and Easter’s not a God-holiday. I think Lazarus deserves some respect.

I propose a new holiday: Lazarus Day. We can all lie around and watch “Flatliners.”

Grant Hamilton

  • http://pennywise-books.blogspot.com/ T. Keith Edmunds

    According to Wikipedia: “Lazarus Saturday, in the Eastern Orthodox Church and those Eastern Catholic Churches which follow the Byzantine Rite, is the day before Palm Sunday, and is liturgically linked to it. The feast celebrates the resurrection of Lazarus of Bethany…”

    So there you go. He does have his own day — the marketers just haven’t gotten hold of it yet.

    Because the marketers have fallen down, I think we should take the opportunity to promote the Cheese Tapir than comes out of his hollow to bestow a variety of cheeses upon the sleeping children of the correct faith. Believe it or not, this holiday ritual is LADEN with symbolism, which I will gladly explain should anyone care.

    • http://www.absurdintellectual.com/ Grant Hamilton

      I care! Please explain!

      Also, I love cheese.

      • http://pennywise-books.blogspot.com/ T. Keith Edmunds

        The smell of the cheeses = the smell of the four day dead Lazarus (it’s true that he stank – it’s in the Bible).

        The Cheese Tapir coming out of his hollow = Lazarus coming out of the tomb

        Sleeping children = dead people

        Like I said, LADEN with symbols.

      • http://www.absurdintellectual.com/ Grant Hamilton

        Why a tapir and not, say, a mongoose? That’s my only question.

        Otherwise I’m sold! We CANNOT forget to celebrate this next year.

      • http://pennywise-books.blogspot.com/ T. Keith Edmunds

        A mongoose has other connotations. Tapirs are cool and underused in western culture – soon when someone says “tapir”, it will evoke the thought of Lazarus Saturday and have them running out to by out specially-marketed Lazarus Saturday greeting cards and cheeses. There are very few animals that are not laden with other symbolic associations and meanings.

      • http://www.absurdintellectual.com/ Grant Hamilton

        Alright — I’m with you so far, but I think we should have a better answer at hand, not just “they’re cool and underused.”

        They’re not very cute, you know. Well, baby ones are adorable. Maybe it should be a baby tapir?

      • http://pennywise-books.blogspot.com/ T. Keith Edmunds

        Sure – it signifies rebirth.

  • Colin Corneau

    Zombie Lazarus doesn’t have the same oomph as Zombie Jesus.

  • Colin Corneau

    Also, is it just me or does the guy in that image you posted here rising from the dead bear an uncanny resemblance to the lead in “Tristram Shandy: A Cock and Bull Story”..?

  • http://www.absurdintellectual.com/ Grant Hamilton

    Colin: I’m mesmerized by the Zs in “Zombie Lazarus.” There are two of them! Twice as many as in Zombie Jesus (although the same number of phonetic Zs, I suppose.)

    Also, can’t speak for the resemblance to Tristam Shandy (haven’t seen it, want to) but it’s a painting by Juan de Flandes entitled “The Resurrection of Lazarus.” I probably should have credited it, but I thought it was obvious that I don’t paint like a 15th century Fleming.