Turn down your volume if you click this image at work or in a library. Otherwise, turn it the hell up!
Normally, if one thinks about the President of the United States spinning platters, perhaps one would think of a circus performer, frantically trying to keep plates spinning atop poles, dashing frantically from one to the other, spinning, spinning, spinning. One plate is labeled “Iraq” and another “Afghanistan,” while there are also plates with terms like “Illegal Immigration” and “Economic Crisis” wobbling around over there.
How does he do it?
Maybe, sometimes, he just needs to relax, and spin a different kind of platter. Why, I think the current President of the United States looks like kind of a cool cat, probably the kind of guy who can spin up a turntable and drop the needle ex-fucking-actly on the damn beat.
That’s a prez who would appreciate a top-secret record collection, all pristine vinyl in special President of the United States limited edition (of one) commemorative sleeve, hidden away in the basement of the White House, right?
Good thing such a secret record collection actually exists!
Stored in the basement of the executive mansion is the official White House Record Library: several hundred LPs that include landmark albums in rock (Led Zeppelin IV, the Rolling Stones’ Let It Bleed), punk (the Ramones’ Rocket to Russia, the Sex Pistols’ Never Mind the Bollocks, Here’s the Sex Pistols), cult classics (Captain Beefheart’s Trout Mask Replica, the Flying Burrito Brothers’ The Gilded Palace of Sin) and disco. Not to mention records by Santana, Neil Young, Talking Heads, Isaac Hayes, Elton John, the Cars and Barry Manilow.
No, it was not designed to ensure that the artform of DJing survives a nuclear apocalypse, or even put there to keep the First Family boogying away in the fallout shelter. But it’s still awesome, and it’s the kind of perk that I never really expected the president to have in real life. Maybe in comic books, but real life?
Wait a minute … black president, with a secret record collection hidden in the basement of the White House?
Is that it? Are we living in a comic book?!?!?
Yessssss. (fist pump)
Grant Hamilton
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